All Our Words Belong To Him
I felt Him whisper it to me back in December. A word that slipped in and out of my thoughts. I tucked it away until January, the time I set aside each year to fast and pray for the coming months. As my hunger set in, I asked the Lord to confirm the word I couldn’t seem to shrug off. To be honest, the word scares me a little bit. Not in the way “surrender” did a few years ago. Whew, that one really pressed in hard. With hands stretch out, I gave over to the Lord areas of my life […]
You Can Always Come Home
Over the past several months I’ve looked back longingly on those exhausting nights of waking children and all those witching hours when one boy would be hanging at my ankles whining, and the littlest would be needing a diaper change, and the oldest was clearly responding out of low blood sugar craziness. Without me even realizing it, those days were in my past. I put a sweet toddler down for a nap one day not realizing it would be the last daytime tuck in. And somewhere along the line, I took my final middle of the night groggy walk up […]
He will Come
After a national chorus of gratitude, it’s no wonder we begin a season of expecting life. For thankfulness births good things. Today marks the beginning of Advent, the time set a part to anticipate the arrival of a baby that belongs to the whole world. The One born of flesh, but equal with God. The One who was rejected, yet welcomed all of creation. The One who came with wholeness to a broken world who needed Him. This baby was God coming to his people to bring them back to Himself. The days leading up to His birth demand our attention. They ought […]
Sanded Through
A few years ago I purchased a piece of furniture on Craigslist for $20. It’s a classic colonial dark pine buffet and hutch, something similar to what my mother had in our dining room in the 1980s. As I sanded by hand every inch and crevice, exposing new surface and leaving some old, I considered how even our furniture can reflect a little bit of who we are. We are a people continually being made new. By the very hands of our Creator who makes us more like him. By the experiences that round out our edges. By the people who […]
I Had a Baby in Africa
On their special day, we lay in bed and tell their birth story, almost as if we’ve never heard it before. We remember the same details and giggle at the same parts. Our Tessa has a special story. It’s one we recall with such fondness because so many of us actually remember it. We experienced her as a family, in a place where we had learned to cling to one another, and the memories are every bit sweet. Having a baby in Uganda was never on my bucket list, but I’m so glad it was on the one God wrote for me. My prior […]
This Two Becoming One
Sex is an act of hospitality – the giving of oneself and the receiving of another. In our sex craved culture where people are objectified, where pleasure is something easier achieved by yourself, and pornography is rampant and acceptable as television humor, it’s easy to forget just how intimate and divine the coming together of two bodies really is. When I married, no one told me sex would reveal some of my heart issues. I had no idea it would be a source of conflict in my very happy and satisfying marriage. I did not anticipate the reality that babies […]
When It’s Not Your Gift
We call hospitality a gift. Some have it others don’t. A way of offering that some people are called to and others are not. Like teaching or preaching or healing. Here’s the problem: We’ve equated hospitality with hosting. The ability to have people in your home and serve them well is a gift. Some do this with ease, some do it because they have to, some because they feel called to. It’s an instinct for some, and for others it’s a learned way of living. And yet for others it’s awkward or exhausting or intrusive. But here’s some real truth: […]
Praying Mercy Today
You say you desire mercy, not sacrifice. What does that mean? Cause I thought sacrifice was the way to live Christian, the way to give of myself for another. But your word is true. So I wrestle with it. To sacrifice is to offer. The act of giving up something that is mine for someone else. These burnt offerings are not meaningless. They are ceremonial in nature. And their aroma is pleasing to you. You tell me this. But I can sacrifice my money for the cause of another, yet, it’s not really giving of myself. And I can sacrifice […]
My Favorite Things This Spring {2014}
1. Pixi redness reducing primer from Target. I put it under my tinted moisturizer to help even my skin tone. The closer I get to 40, the more I need little favorite like this. My skin has changed a lot in tone and texture these past few years and I’m committed to taking care of it, even if it means spending a little more money on good cleansers and creams. I currently use Dr. Loretta skin care online and I’m super happy with the results. 2. These sweet potato chips are so yummy. Only 3 ingredients: sweet potatoes, sunflower oil […]
Do You Miss Me??
Wait…don’t answer…unless, of course, you do! I’m not going to assume you’ve noticed, but I haven’t posted in such a long time. I’ve missed the writing. It’s my way of quieting my mind and processing life in a way that documents moments and struggles and growth so I’ll always remember. Life has truly sprung forth with Spring, and I just haven’t been able to slow down long enough to scribble it down. Farm chores are in full swing! Six pigs arrived this month and we are super excited to offer pastured raised pork to more people this year. We’ve doubled […]
What needs resurrecting in your life?
How good of Easter to come right after winter. For those cold barren months burrow in us an awareness of death, a humility to that which we cannot control. Instead of the obvious of vibrant colors and the fullness of foliage and the singing of the animal world, when we surrender to a season of dying we must look harder to see life in forms less visible. Like the whispers of wind that foretell change. And the provision of a thick coat that miraculously appear on the deer that winter in our woods. Like the glistening of snow that makes […]
Praying For Some {global} Vision Today
It’s always so confusing to me when the anger of people is directed toward the behavior and choices of others. More than their own brokenness. More than the blaring ethical and social injustices. More than the existence of poverty stricken communities. More than the outrageous amount of children still not in families. More than the sexual battle that preys on young women. More than the widespread addiction to the virtual stimulations that prevent intimacy in reality. My own anger swells up in these moments when the people who wear your Name use it to build walls, instead of erase boundaries. […]
This Will Always Be My Favorite Lent Story
Lent looks different every year for our family. For one, it wasn’t even something we acknowledged growing up in our particular community of faith. But I really love the discipline of fasting and I especially appreciate when communities come together to fast collectively. This year, however, I’m not fasting from anything food related. I’m really not fasting from anything at all. Rather, I’ve made a commitment to prayerfully approach the Father on behalf of several people I know who need the support of prayer right now. I set these little alarms on my phone and all throughout the day I […]
It’s a Beautiful Thing {to raise up the young}
We have spent years mediating arguments between siblings – years! These children of ours are super close. Moving across the world together {where all you really have is each other}, along with years of homeschooling {spending all the hours of every day together} –knits you tight. But still, these brothers and sisters pick and poke, squabble and fight like all normal siblings. Sometimes it plays out like this: I hear yelling and angry words flying, along with evidence of physical contact….I give it a few minutes to see if they can work it out themselves….it escalates, and I get frustrated…I […]
You Can’t Eat Beauty
I’ve been teaching my children how to eat for nearly 14 years. You think maybe once you cover that at age 2 and 3 and 4, you might be done in that parenting department. But lessons on food and health and manners have followed us all the way into the teenage years. In part, because children always need reminders, but also because our family has transformed in our eating over the years. We’ve come to embrace the spiritual side of food that speaks to the way we are nourished and provided for, and not merely the physical fulfilling of our […]
A Really Good Place to Be {in parenting}
We had a conversation with our children last week and it all started with this: Child: Mom, what is the password for Netflix? Me: Why? Child: I want to start season 5 of White Collar while I run on the treadmill. Me: What? Season 5? Are you telling me you’ve seen seasons 1-4 already? Child {suddenly sheepish}: Uuuuh, yes? When I hear about kids making bombs in their garage I’m floored, even a bit judgmental, that the parent had NO idea such activity was happening in their midst. Well, suddenly I’m a little more gracious toward the unawareness. It’s no […]
Marriage: The Working out of My Salvation
They sat there in all their twenty something beauty, holding coffee and sharing stories. And I sat their held captive by their genuine hearts and dreams. I’ve heard it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, she said. The other one looked at me with her hopeful unmarried eyes, Is it? Is it the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Hmmm….I wanted so much to respond in a way that keeps it real, but shows the wonder. Marriage. It’s complicated to communicate the complexity of two becoming one. It’s unique to all other relationships. It’s covenant. It’s constant. It’s eternal, because even when […]
Yes Also Means No {a truth my husband speaks}
Here’s the thing about learning yes. You must also learn no. For saying yes to something inevitably means saying no to something else. Yes to a truth, no to a lie. Yes to God’s will, no to self-fulfilled dreams. Yes to intentional living, no to busyness and a rigid calendar. Yes to your children, no to selfish intentions. Yes to healthier eating, no to cheap groceries. In everything, there is a choice, a deciding between what you desire {or need}, and what you’re willing to do without in order to have the time, money, energy or attention to weave what […]
Praying Yes! Today
A prayer by Walter Brueggemann You are the God who is simple, direct, clear with us and for us. You have committed yourself to us.You have said yes to us in creation,yes to us in our birth,yes to us in our baptism,yes to us in our awakening this day. But we are of another kind,more accustomed to “perhaps, maybe, we’ll see,’left in wonderment and ambiguity. We live our lives not back to your yes,but out of our endless “perhaps.” So we pray for your mercy this day that we may live yes back to you,yes with our time,yes with our money,yes […]
Yes!
It’s been two years since the Lord sung her name to me. The story has yet to turn a page, but I couldn’t help revisit the moment as I entered into my sacred week of hunger, of looking backward and forward with clarity and vision. At the beginning of each year I commit to a week of fasting. No food. Rather, I feast on God’s sustaining grace and find myself fully satisfied in His presence, in the way He always meets me in my hunger, in my seeking. And yet, after ten years of this discipline, ten years of His […]
We are the Place Where You’re Born
The very first Christmas was Jesus being born unto the world. Every Christmas after, is Jesus being born in us. As we anticipate and wait in these Advent days, we are preparing for his birth – not only in a manger, but in hearts and homes. Jesus being born into our sin. Jesus being born into our brokenness. Jesus being born into our relationships. Jesus being born into the work of our hands, the words of our mouth. This is no ordinary birth. It’s not the kind that marks first breath. It’s the kind that brings forth new life. What […]
Her Pondering Heart
It says she pondered. The woman who first welcomed God in the flesh, the one who birthed a baby that would save a dying world. This baby, her baby, vulnerable and naked, looked nothing like a savior. And while everyone who heard about the miracle was amazed, this new mama, “treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” God was born through her that night in a place not worthy of the moment, with an audience so humble it causes bewilderment. The reality of God with Us conceived questions and concerns, comfort and hope – in everyone, […]
They Teach Us How to Welcome
Do you feel him moving? Stirring inside of you? Stretching, pushing against you? His life growing larger and stronger, more complete…ready to be born? These are the days we are expecting. Waiting for Jesus who has come, is here, and will come again. This ever present, ever coming God is continually conceiving life in his people, expanding them, and delivering redemption in this world. How do we welcome the birth of Jesus? How do we receive a Savior being born into our life? Let’s look to the days and years surrounding the nativity story for discernment – the people, places […]
For All Your Repeating Words
Sometimes I feel like a broken record, scratching out the same few words of the same old tune over and over again….and the longer I sing those words, the less kind they sound. Please remember to rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Don’t forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher, okay? Hello? Dishes? They go in the dishwasher….remember? Dishes! (stomp) Dishwasher! (stomp) Now!!! (stomp) There are times I question whether I can go another day on repeat. Picking up the same belongings left out by the same people. Cleaning and wiping the very same things over […]
Beautifully Flawed {conversations}
Have you not known?Have you not heard?The everlasting God, the Lord,The Creator of the ends of the earth,Neither faints nor is weary.His understanding is unsearchable.He gives power to the weak,And to those who have no might He increases strength.Even the youths shall faint and be weary,And the young men shall utterly fall,But those who wait on the LordShall renew their strength;They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary,They shall walk and not faint. We’re two conversations into This is How We Welcome, and I am renewed in hope and blessed by the words and prayers of my children. Some wisdom […]
What to Expect {when you’re expecting}
Disappointment. Sure, not every time. But if you’re expecting anything from anyone, you are at great risk for dissatisfaction. I mean, when does anything happen just like we hope? When do we get exactly what we’re wanting? For the past week, I’ve been seeking the Lord in how to expect, how to hope for, how to wait. For I recently lost what I was expecting, and I sigh and laugh a little as I realize the timing of my pain. For today begins a period of waiting, a season set a part to anticipate the arrival of a baby. It […]
Glimpse #3 {This is How We Welcome}
God wants his people to trust him. Not just for today, but for tomorrow. And not just with our hunger, but with all of our needs. If we are storing up treasures in our home and bank or storing up fear in our minds or storing up bitterness in our hearts, we are not trusting our Creator with the most basic needs of our life. There are times to save and make preparations, and these will be most fruitful when they are in response to God’s leading. But if we spend so much time, energy and money storing up and […]
Glimpse #2 {This is How We Welcome}
Advent begins December 1st — the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Here’s another glimpse into these conversations intended to guide you through a season of active waiting and preparing for the coming of Christmas. When did we start expecting instead of receiving, and buying instead of giving? With the first bit of sin. That’s the moment. That’s when we started wanting what we want, instead of what someone else wanted for us. Our will verses God’s. Our desires instead of His. We chose sin out of the hunger of our flesh, rather than the good and perfect gifts from above, coming down […]
These Holy Pigs
It seemed right to send them out just as I brought them in. Through song. A simple homemade song by my Great Aunt May and a hymn of gratitude that welcomed the Creator to the moment. Great is Thy faithfulness. Great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me. The morning stung with chill and an act of death we’ve been anticipating since June. We welcomed the baby pigs, we held them when they were tiny, we winced at their outrageous squeals. We […]
What does it look like for God’s life to be born in us?
“The very first Christmas was Jesus being born unto the world. Every Christmas after, is Jesus being born in us. As we anticipate and wait in these Advent days, we are preparing for his birth — not only in a manger, but in hearts and homes. Jesus, being born into our sin. Jesus being born into our brokenness. Jesus being born into our relationships. Jesus being born into the work of our hands, the words of our mouth. This is no ordinary birth. It’s not the kind that marks first breath. It’s the kind that brings for new life. What […]
Advent Conversations: This is How We Welcome
[bl]L[/bl]ast year, the Lord inspired some Advent thoughts that became 11 conversations intended to help us engage a season of active waiting and preparing for the coming of Jesus. I’ve spent some time editing and reorganizing the conversations, and I’m excited to share it with you all. If you’re looking to engage the Advent season, I really think you’ll be blessed by these conversations. Here’s a glimpse into the thoughts: There are 11 conversations, which means about 3 per week leading up to Christmas. These Advent conversations can happen between two people, a family, a small group or simply between you and […]
It All Starts with Seeing
We’ve surprised ourselves at how morning worship has become part of our daily rhythm. We are sloooow to commit to scheduled expectations. But this is different. Because worship isn’t a task to check off. It’s the deep longing of our hearts. And when we carve out space for it, it will leave us wanting more. And it has. As we open our minds and hearts to be more like Jesus, we start today memorizing and embracing the truth in Philippians 2. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look […]
How to Harvest Love {2013}
To harvest is to gather. To recognize what is ripe and to collect and enjoy the fruits of a season. And then we feast. We let the sweet and savory crops satisfy us. And we give thanks for what’s been given. Oh that we would be a people who do this with love! That we would recognize this fruit of the Spirit that has grown and ripened in the season we’re living right now. That we would collect our experiences and memories of the love given and received. Of the seeds planted with grace, and the witness of love growing and maturing in […]
Happy Twenty Something Me
Dear young mamas, I can’t help but notice the tired in your eyes. And the way you have to be alert. Always. Watching where they go, what they pick up. And how you sometimes take a deep breath through your genuine, but half-hearted smile as you say Good in response to the usually rhetorical question How are you? And I can’t help but wonder if you wish, instead, to admit fatigue and a little loneliness. Or maybe that you’re disappointed your body doesn’t look the way it used to…and you wish you didn’t care as much as you do. Or […]
Inspiring Children to Learn
It’s no easy task. We have a lot working against us in our time and culture. Learning is usually slow, but we move fast. Learning is relational, but we spend less time together. Learning is full of creativities, but but we focus on activities. And then there’s the distraction and dominance of screens. I try not to hold harsh opinions about things, but man, if you push me against a wall, I’ll claim that video games harden hearts and deplete minds of creativity. When you can control and experience a fantasy world free of pain and consequence, of course the […]
Green Smoothie Recipe {and food ramblings}
I grew up eating home cooked meals and enjoying the way dinners and holidays gathered us around a table. Our family always loved eating together, making new recipes and putting in a little extra effort to make a meal special. It’s kind of one of our traditions. Certain recipes belong to certain people. Like my sister carries on the tradition of our Grandma’s yeast rolls. And I’m always the one who makes the sausage cornbread stuffing at Thanksgiving. My mom’s roast is always tastier than the rest of ours. And my dad’s gravy is the best! And my brother’s chocolate […]
Hold on?
Usually I ask my children to do me a favor and without hesitation they step up to the task. That’s always nice. But sometimes…well, maybe more than sometimes….they sigh or roll their eyes or say hold on. In those moments, I’m not exactly sure what to say or how to respond. I’m never really prepared for those reactions. But I’m thinking maybe I should make a plan for the next time it happens because if I don’t come up with anything more graceful, I might explode in sarcasm with something like this: Hold on? You want ME to hold on? […]
On the Fifth Morning
The morning started out terrible. I made a different spinach smoothie than I normally make…which didn’t go over very well with the children. So there was complaining and pouting and slow sipping….which didn’t go over very well with me. As I scrambled eggs, the children scrambled to take specks out of each other’s eyes, completely blind to the plank they had each brought with them to the breakfast table. The bickering escalated, and the louder they got, the louder I got. Before I share what happened next…don’t worry, all five children are still alive and well…I want to first say […]
15 Years of Togetherness
We married on the day before my parent’s 30th anniversary and I can’t believe we’re already half way to that milestone. We celebrated this victory, our relationship that has grown in love and overcome many great things, with a trip to the ocean. It had been four years since our last family vacation, the one where we drove from Jinja, Uganda to Nairobi, Kenya then flew to the coast where we breathed in the ocean air, basked in the sun, held an octopus, and were cared for with African hospitality. Yep, we road tripped through Africa, crossing boarders, traveling through […]
Our Theme for the School Year
I could get specific about how we desire an environment of creation over education, how we seek inward transformation before learning outcomes, and how we appreciate assessment through participation rather than examination. Or I could confess how I would be a TERRIBLE school mom who would always drop my children off late, never sign permission slips, and rarely check or enforce homework assignments. But the bottom line is, we homeschool because we love the time it gives us with our children. SO much time….sometimes too much time…like this might be the end of me time….but mostly irreplaceable, precious time in […]
A Backyard Distance Away
They walked into my room with we’re about to ask you something looks on their faces. Their super big grins and uncertain eyes gave them away. We know you’re gonna say no, but we want to ask anyway, they said. Hmmm. I’ve been my parents daughter for 38 years and my husband’s wife for 15….and I still do things to keep them guessing and wondering as to what I might do, how I might respond. But these kids of mine? They act like they have me figured out already! As if the growing inside me, and the countless hours we […]
The Green Moment {that has me all thinking}
I’ve been making these green smoothies nearly every morning for a few months now. I seriously think they’re changing our lives. Sounds dramatic, I know. But for real – they’re beautiful, delicious and we all seem to notice physical benefits. When I watch my children guzzle the cup full of spinach I feel like a stellar mom. I mean, forget about those frozen cokes I let them have yesterday. And the chocolate chip cookies I threw in the oven when our friends came over. And those Cheetos I bought to go with sandwiches the other day? Let’s forget that ever […]
A Beautiful Hard Place to Be {what we’ll tell our black son}
You were created exactly how God wanted you. You’re wonderfully made. And we love the color you bring to our life. But sometimes the color of your skin will reveal the brokenness in other people. It will expose fear. The resistance to embrace God’s diversity. The failure to love wholly. The choosing to not understand another. The careless bias toward projected beauty, power and influence. We’re so sorry for this. We’re sorry that the beautiful hue you bring to this world carries the weight of a heart wrenching history that can only be redeemed through the crimson color of Jesus. […]
Everything is Permissible
….but not everything is beneficial. I experienced a convergence of situations and truths this week. And the more I meditate on it, the more I realize just how central this teaching is to how we shape and guide our children according to the purposes of God. I was talking deep with a friend about the thorn in his flesh and how it has him wrestling with heart issues, and feeling judged by those who claim the name of Jesus. The question he asked was do you think it’s wrong? It’s a familiar question to most of us. We can’t help […]
praying for my {big} boys today
‘Cause really, who else will? With the same fervency and compassion. With the same steadfast heart and committed spirit. Who else but their mama will pray for them with the depth of understanding of who they are and who they want to be? Their daddy’s prayers are full of spirit. They are heart felt and listened to. They are needed and special in a world where daddy’s tend to leave. But my heart spends hours upon hours with their hearts every day. I tend to those boys, and they purify me. I feed and nourish them, and they swell my […]
Establish the Work of their Hands
It has taken a lot of effort to get this bunch to work with their hands. Many arguments. Countless conversations. Continual reminders. Inconsistent rewards. Maybe a little bribing. And far too many frustrating parenting moments. They just don’t like to work. They’re easily distracted. They’d rather pick up electronics. Their dad envisions with his creative mind a different way of living, a redeemed way of using land, a slower pace to life. And then he works hard to see those dreams fulfilled for his family. A part of that dream is working alongside his sons and daughters. Their hands and […]
Praying Restoration Today
These dark skies have swooped down, twisted realities, shaken foundations, and flooded us with fear. They have blown in and taken the breath of children, with no regard toward how our young in school have already been attacked. And then, they came back for more, and to the One Who Calms the Seas and Storms, we cry out Enough! People are talking, you know? Asking questions. Wondering if it was by your hand, oh Creator of the winds and skies and rains. I know it’s okay to ask, to wonder. I’m asking too. Your Word compels me to wrestle with […]
#whatthecameradoesntshow
There is so much more to a moment than whatever it is we’re framing in a lens when trying to capture it. There are emotions undetected by the camera. There are piles of laundry just around the corner. There is the argument that happened moments earlier between the two siblings now being darling for the camera. There are feelings of inadequacy, even when we share a creative something we copied from Pinterest. There is the long tiring day that doesn’t get erased when we show the yummy dinner we whipped up for our family. And yet….our online identities are being […]
Don’t Be Afraid of Emptiness
I’ve done motherhood both ways. This body swelling all on its own and me going along for the ride. Never having to tell it what to do. Never having to tell my heart how to love because it gently grew in beat with the living soul inside me. And then there are the times when the stretching and pulling happened to my spirit, not my belly. I expanded in ways I didn’t know was possible. And as these two babies grew inside other women’s bodies, the joy of the Lord grew inside me. The natural and unnatural expanding of heart and life […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {for the daughter who loses her mother}?
I know Jennifer because she married into a family whom I share a deep history, a deep love. Though miles separate us now, the foundation of friendship between our families keeps us bound together, and we delight in knowing that God is working in each other’s lives. Jennifer’s grace story comes just in time for Mother’s Day, a day we celebrate the love and beauty of this divine role. Being a mother and having a mother isn’t something everyone gets to experience or celebrate. But this story teaches us that God’s grace redeem’s broken realities, sometimes in ways we aren’t […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {for those coming home}?
My friendship with Shannon started with an email about how and where to get your hair highlighted in Uganda — you know, the important details about missionary life. We started emailing each other as her family prepared to move to Uganda at a similar phase of life as we did. They seamlessly connected to the people and culture, and continue to live and work within a ministry they are passionate about. Any length of time living in another culture changes the way you experience your culture of origin. There’s an awkwardness, a re-adjusting, a frustration, a comfort, as you engage […]
What the Camera Doesn’t Show
If this one and only snapshot I shared on Facebook is all you knew about our three days away, you would not get a clear picture of how our getaway went. This Instagram is not deceptive. I was indeed sun kissed. I was many times over husband kissed. And I really was a happy girl….in that moment. But what the camera doesn’t show is the rain we arrived to. And the down pour we woke up to the next morning. What the camera doesn’t show is the constant cloud coverage and continual rain showers that hijacked the entire first day. […]
A Few of My Favorite Things {this Spring}
[bl]I[/bl]t took a long time getting here, but I dare say Spring has come at last! This sun deprived girl is pale and ornery, so I’m counting all the things I’m enjoying right now as I get reacquainted with the warmer weather and brighter days! Last year I shared a favorite things list, so I thought I might start a tradition and do it this year too. 1. My Matilda Jane ruffles I hope ruffles stick around for awhile. They’re feminine and sweet and make me feel all girlie. Matilda Jane clothing offers great quality for a not so great price […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {in the darkest place you’ve ever been}?
When you live across the seas in a place like Africa, you treasure the people who take the time and money and energy to travel to where you are. And even if those people travel to see your teammates, and not you, you STILL treasure them! We are thankful for people like Danni Langston and her husband who experienced Uganda, and the culture and people we love so deeply. It will always unite us. Danni’s grace story teaches us to be available to people when they just can’t be available to themselves. May God give us the eyes to witness […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {for the mother of a special needs child}?
Ann Ehlert is a new friend. We find ourselves connected through Jesus, blogging and our sweet friend Courtney. Ann and her husband, Greg, live an intentional life of ministry within their family and a broader community. Her story is one that teaches us how to receive and respond to the realities of others in ways that bless and encourage. And ultimately, sometimes our environment of grace comes when we, ourselves, extend grace to the people we need it from. Slowly but surely I have been learning how my black and white thinking is not loving or accepting. As children, we learn many […]
Fear {the contraceptive of the soul}
I sat there in the movie theater proud to be Fun Mom after a long month of being Distracted Mom. 5 kids sipping on frozen cokes and stuffing their faces with popcorn drizzled with fake butter. I am SO fun…sometimes! As it turns out, the Croods are a cave family who live in the dark to stay alive, fearing all things — particularly anything new, and especially the light. Interesting, I thought. My weary soul from this month’s events had me wondering if it was coincidence or divine intervention that I was watching this particular animated story. Fear keeps us […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {in a temporary storm}?
I’m excited to share with you a grace story by Kristan Shields. She may tell you she doesn’t craft words well, but let me tell you that she speaks them to people faithfully! She is free with words of love and encouragement to the people in her life. And it teaches me. I love her story because it’s a simple story of grace. Not this extravagant struggle that required extravagant grace….but a very normal struggle that so many hearts will connect to. And the environment of grace God provided for her was simple…and yet isn’t ALL grace kind of extravagant? […]
When Your Resurrection Hasn’t Come Yet
Don’t lose hope. For God’s story never changes. It’s always one of life after death. But maybe you feel like you perpetually live on a Good Friday – where there’s struggle and surrender — a day we can only name Good in hindsight, in the knowing of what was to follow. Or maybe you have lived a long time in the day after. Where there’s grieving for what was and waiting for what is to come. And it never seems like Sunday will come. It never feels like the grave will go empty. For you, who longs to live life […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {for the infertile couple}?
Lara Brazle shares her story with us today. A story of how God’s people became an environment of grace for her and her husband David during a time when they needed a safe place to discover how God resurrects life after being told life wasn’t possible. She’s a beautiful, honest soul and I’m thankful for her family’s witness of who God is. Our story of grace starts in a little room at an urology clinic. It was a day of hope turned grey, as our dreams of having children biologically were dashed. After a couple years of infertility, we had […]
Dear Mark,
Today we get to celebrate you. Lucky us! I think back on all the provisions God had to make to bring your life together with mine. He sure is faithful. And good at soul matching. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and while I create my morning coffee, I look out the window to see all your hard work of redeeming the land, our red barn tucked to the side, and the path that leads to my parent’s house. I look over to the kitchen table we designed together in Africa, and see our five rainbow children circled around […]
Trod Upon Us With Triumphal Entry
With branches of palm they welcomed him. A crowd receiving their Lord. No chariots. No trumpets. No robe. No carpet. Just a donkey, the cloaks of friends, and proclamations of those who believe. Not the expected entry of a King. But the Son of God doesn’t seek grandiose receptions. Only genuine welcome. And so we lay down our garments, we lay down our life. This is how we welcome you. In the submission of our will. And we lay down our cut branches in hopes you will graft us into you. This is how we receive you. In the knowing that you will receive us. And […]
It’s Our Cross Too
When winter lasts so long, it only makes me anticipate Spring even more. With greater fervor, with deeper longing. It reminds me of the years in Africa when after a year of separation I would anticipate someone’s arrival or my departure with such intensity that I would nearly burst with excitement. I miss that feeling. But every winter I re-visit a similar anticipation. As I reach my winter threshold and ache for the sun to warm my face and grass to grow up between the toes of my children. It’s a wonderful feeling. We all turn a little giddy in […]
Praying to Trust You Today
Some surrenders are harder than others. Like this one. I made myself vulnerable to you. Decided to trust you in something that’s always felt safer to control myself. Oh, I’m sure to others it looks as if I’ve handed this over to you. And in many ways I have. I’ve prayed, I’ve listened, I’ve discerned, I’ve acted. All in genuine faith. All with a desire to invite you into what is already divine. Kind of funny, I guess. But I’ve never been comfortable completely surrendering this sacred part of me. Yet, you knit me together, you know me better than […]
A grace story to share?
Environments are powerful. They affect who we are and who we become. They can empower or shame. They can feed or starve. They can forgive or judge. They can heal or deepen wounds. Jesus is a different kind of environment. He is where people are welcomed. Fed. Healed. Touched. Forgiven. Blessed. He is where people belong. Grow. Learn. Change. Thrive. Live! He is an environment of grace. It oozes from his love, seeping into our crevices that are dirty, embarrassing, and unattractive. It suffocates our unworthiness and breathes life into our spirit – the very spirit of God. As the […]
When Your Environment of Grace Makes People Feel Left Out
Lydia Jane turned 10 on Saturday. We had a super special week planning her celebration together. We share a love for design and all things fashion. It was clear from the start we make great party partners! The most special part of planning a party {to me} is creating the guest list. Because in my hospitality heart, the party has everything to do with the people, and very little to do with the cute table { I always enjoy setting}. But….the guest list can also be complicated. Because in my hospitality heart, the question I always ask is How can […]
The Forbidden Gumballs {and the fall of Tessa and Myles}
I walked in after being gone for a few hours with the almost birthday girl. She took our purchases to the dining room where we’ve been making things pretty to celebrate. She quickly returned with a half empty jar of pink gumballs. The very pink gumballs I told the four children we left behind NOT to eat. Tessa? Myles? Where are you? I called out in my not so happy voice. Two littles appeared sheepishly into the kitchen. Did you eat the gumballs I told you not to eat? Their eyes got really big. Tessa gave me some so I […]
Snow days are for…
Sleeping in {after plowing all night} and peeking out the window when you first wake and catching big snowflakes and warm crusty bread and stopping to be thankful and reading favorite books and anticipating a special day and preparing for it to come Don’t forget to stop and notice what’s going on around you in this very moment. With the snow covered ground, the messy home, the children present, the days slower. I want to remember all these sweet days. For they are passing ever so quickly.
Environments of Grace: what do they look like?
I’m looking for writers who can sketch in words and stories what people and places who inhabit grace look like for the writer’s particular need for grace. Have you been in a situation where grace was what you needed and God provided it for you through a person, or a home, or a new culture, or a family, or a job? We would love to hear from you, learn from you! What was it about the way this person related to you, the words they spoke to you? What was it about the way the house held you? Or […]
an act of vulnerability
Surrender is the word I’m praying through this year. To live more committed to this arms raised, palms out posture to life, there’s a searching of my soul and a seeking of my Father. I want to know what it is I need to surrender, what I might need to die to or give up in order to live more faithful to His purposes. I’m good at clinging tight to what I like. I actually think I have really good ideas, so what’s the harm in living them out, right? Well, let me tell you something….Africa was not my good idea. […]
Better Love
Today in our house we’re talking about what would help us love better. If we write those things on wood hearts and paint them all red and pink….. it makes the conversation more enjoyable, right? What hinders our love? What makes it flourish? These are the questions we are asking. How about you? How can you better your love? What do you need to practice or surrender or hope in so your love will abound? Happy valentine’s Day from us to you. May God’s love be made more perfect in you.
Everybody wants to {be} love{d}
It’s a catchy tune. But the words are even better. If there’s a theme song for our adoptions, this is it. The song of our heart, the words we want to proclaim: Everybody, everybody wants to love. Everybody, everybody wants to be loved. It’s Gospel, really. God is love. And everyone born of God is created to love and be loved. And if we don’t, and if we’re not, then we are incomplete. Not whole. Broken. This is the life of an orphan, the life of so many hurting. Those not experiencing embrace are missing out on the very thing they’ve […]
Awaken Your Spirit
Eight years ago I started fasting regularly as a way to make myself available to God. These fasting days and weeks have changed my life and relationship with the Lord as we’ve listened to each other, really listened. I am always humbled by God’s faithfulness to meet me in my hunger. For so long I thought the point of fasting was to replace eating with prayer. I had done one, two and three day fasts with this objective and didn’t experience anything that compelled me to pursue this as a spiritual discipline. It wasn’t until I endured my first week […]
I’m asking {are you?}
I’m asking the questions that cause their cheeks to flush and their eyes to roll. They really have no concept of what I’m asking, they can only imagine with their naïve minds what those situations might be like. They don’t even have ideas or images projected from movies that would help form a picture. Currently, all they know about these broken situations is from these little intentional conversations I initiate. But the discomfort or embarrassment is inherent in these questions because sinful humanity still hides it’s nakedness. Have you ever been in a situation where you have been afraid that […]
when you don’t know what to pray
Speak these words: May you be made known Then listen. Watch. Be available to whatever God reveals about him, about you, about whoever or whatever you’re praying for. This is the true spirit of prayer. Seeking God, and praying for him to be made known in all people, in all things. Prayer is not for speaking something into existence. It’s not for hoping things go your way. It’s not for spiritual language that makes you feel like you’ve done something. When we pray, we are communicating with our Creator in the love language of our souls. It doesn’t have to […]
Praying Grace Today {again}
Oh that your grace might chase me. Into my selfishness. Into my pride. Into my control. Oh that your grace might cover me. My sin. My ugly parts. My insecurities. Oh that your grace might teach me. Of love. Of forgiveness. Of renewal. Oh that your grace might lead me. Into the pain of others. Into uncomfortable places. Into your perfect will. Oh that your grace might show me. Hope. Faithfulness. Affirmation. Oh that your grace might humble me. To listen. To learn. To sacrifice. Oh that your grace might reveal. My strengths. My courage. My gifts. Oh that your grace might help me. To be vulnerable. […]
and we were never the same
His name is Myles because we traveled far to love him. Not just with our feet, but in our hearts. When we stepped foot in Uganda, it wasn’t to adopt. It wasn’t to visit. It was to live. For four years, inhaling the thick dusty air that would breathe life into our family. Authentic life. Not the comfortable one we grew accustomed to. Not the clean one we spent hours maintaining. Not the one full of American dreams, and self-fulfilling expectations. No, this life was dirty. Messy with poverty. Broken with countless needs, the real kind, the kind where people […]
38 Hallelujahs {from my 37th year}
My God has been faithful to me this year, and he is deserving of my praise. In my moments of joy and in the broken parts that humble, may my story be lived as a hallelujah to God. Truths revealed in our marriage A story unfolding The name I’m learning to love A three year old boy full of life and ability Our new environment of grace A husband who values redeeming the land A nine year old girl who expanded my boundaries and taught me to love Going to some hard places with the Lord A son finding victory […]
How {not} to be Grace Giver
When your daughter trips on a toy and spills coffee all over your table and rug, don’t jump up to grab paper towel and leave the little offender crying on the couch in front of a room full of people. When your five year old is acting sassy to you, don’t turn around and do the same thing back at her. When someone eats an ingredient you need for a recipe that night, don’t stop your foot and scream that everyone in the house is working against you. When someone shows you something he’s excited about, don’t point out the […]
We are Grafted In
My post on discovering holiness through my growing love for sweet Myles is featured over here today. Pop over and check out We Are Grafted In, a blog site that is connecting adoptive families. Thanks!
For Eternal Good {more on marriage}
The truth that this two becoming one is for eternal good was an aha moment in our marriage, the understanding we needed in order to focus on what was really going to transform us. For so long we had been trying to appreciate and engage his needs-my needs and how we can work toward satisfying one another in love. Yet the true longing of our hearts is to be fulfilled by the Father, satisfied by his love. If we listen to this heart cry, we will take our needs and attention to the author and perfecter of our faith. And […]
the truth that is setting our marriage free
They sat there in all their twenty something beauty, holding coffee and sharing stories. And I sat their held captive by their genuine hearts and dreams. I’ve heard it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, she said. The other one looked at me with her hopeful unmarried eyes, Is it? Is it the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Hmmm….I wanted so much to respond in a way that keeps it real, but shows the wonder. Marriage. It’s complicated to communicate the complexity of two becoming one. It’s unique to all other relationships. It’s covenant. It’s constant. It’s eternal, because even […]
To Disarm {Myself}
I’ve named 2013 A Year of Surrender. Choosing the ways of God, more than my own. Choosing less in the flesh, and more in the Spirit. Moving away from instinct, and toward discerned living. I want to learn how to surrender to love. For my husband, for my children, for those who have not. I want to learn how to submit to the needs of others. To a future that I cannot anticipate. To the hope that in all things God intends to make me more like him. Surrender is not something I’m good at. It’s not something my country […]
A Healing Home
I savored the sweet Christmas days of husband home, seven* upstairs sleeping, children creating, the couch holding us often, the mornings starting late, frequent visitors, and a messy home. And just when I began anticipating the days of the new year, my body surrendered to a virus. The aching from head to toe kind. I stay in bed. I surface only to satisfy my role as chef and referee. But mostly I rest. In my loud, active, busy home I wait for healing. I want the kind of home that heals. That gathers the hurting and nurses their wounds. And […]
A Year of Surrender
It’s difficult to anticipate a holy God. Because his ways are so different than our ways. We want higher, he wants humble. We want fast, he wants eternal. We want an easy destination, he wants a holy journey. We want to fix, he wants to redeem. We want perfection, he wants a genuine heart. We want for us what we think is right, he wants for us what he knows is good. My pray for this coming year is that I abandon more of my ways and embrace more of His. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, […]
These Are the Moments {they will remember}
We gathered as a family for 11 conversations. There were countless distractions. An antsy five-year old present for each one. A few nights where we played catch up. And little messes to stop and clean. But we did it. And I’m thankful. As we talked about what it means for Jesus to be born into us, right now, in all our current realities, we spoke confessions of jealousy. Of stubborn pride. Of the desire for human compliment over godly affirmation. We invited God to enter relationships and insecurities and abilities. We wondered together about what God wants to give us […]
Merry Christmas
Christmas unveils our joy and our pain, for Light doesn’t only shine on what is good. It illuminates our whole being, it exposes all that is true in us. As we celebrate Christmas, Jesus being born in us — into all our realities — may we learn how to humbly embrace all that his life delivers. And whether it is joy you experience this Christmas, or deep sorrow, may his life birth within your Spirit something new. Something divine. Something for you to celebrate. Merry Christmas!
somewhere in between
That’s where change happens. In between what you think and what I think. In between what she said and what he said. In between that opinion and this opinion. When national tragedies happen, we hear a variety of both knee jerk and thoughtful responses that open up dialogue. This can be frustrating…and good. It’s frustrating to hear extreme opinions and defenses in a time like this. It’s frustrating that most of the dialogue happens on Facebook where we can’t see expressions and genuine spirits. It’s frustrating that we spout opinions without taking the time to seek the Lord and discern […]
praying for you to be born {today}
Death is not your story. It’s the reason you came near to us. The reality that birthed you as a savior to bring hope to this dark world. And we believe in this hope. We grasp for it in moments like these when the darkness is just too much to bear. Children? Really? Come on, Lord. Surely there was something you could have done! Free will. I get that. I love that about your creative design. It’s the greatest expression of genuine love ever witnessed. And yet, I know you as an intervening God. Active in this world. Colliding with […]
what I want to give my children
More than anything else, I want to give my children truth….for Christmas….for all their days. Truth, in what they hear me say. Truth, in how we live out our story. Truth, that comes from knowing the One who created them. And when they argue, I want to give them this truth: Words soaked in love are always more powerful, always more fruitful. And when they feel misunderstood, I want to give them this truth: I want to understand…but when I don’t, be certain that Jesus does. He knows you completely, spirit and flesh. He understands the depths of your soul. […]
They Teach Us How to Welcome
This week in This is How We Welcome, we are looking to the people who first welcomed Jesus into their world. The role they played and how they received the baby that would offer hope to a broken world. We can learn from them and find encouragement from their examples. Are you willing to expand and stretch like Mary to become a womb, a safe environment for Christ’s life to grow? Are you able to be like the animals, and witness God’s deliverance in others? Or to be like Joseph, and the way he trusted God in a story that […]
Gifting {with a heart of hospitality}
Tis the season of giving and receiving. The very heart of hospitality. And knowing how to do both with grace is a gift in and of itself. I love to give gifts. My favorite ones to give are the I saw this and thought of you ones, given on normal days. Just because. I also love gift wrapping. It’s kind of silly to make a fuss over paper and bows when they’re merely untied, ripped off and usually thrown away (unless you’re my sweet grandmother who saves every bit). Above is a picture of the fun I had in Michaels […]
Heartland Hospitality
There are very few shows worth writing about. Heartland is one of them. It’s a Canadian TV drama, loosely based on the Heartland books by Lauren Brookes. We started watching it last year on the recommendation of the dear Stockman’s. We love the story we’re living, but we also enjoy getting lost in fictional stories together, extracting truths and discussing the examples of love and struggle witnessed between the characters. The backdrop is beautiful Alberta. The environment is a family farm. And the interaction happens between a family and their community. And if that’s not enough to grab my attention, […]
Be Awkard
There’s an uncomfortableness when initiating meaningful moments. Not sure why. But surely you know the feeling I’m talking about. The moment when you want to pray for someone, but you hesitate because it feels awkward. Or when you think it would be good to take a conversation to a deeper level, but you’re afraid others won’t join you. Or you gather as a small group and you hate to interrupt the social, and you’re not quite sure how to transition to the devotional. Maybe these moments are awkward because we wish they would initiate themselves, naturally occur without us trying. […]
Advent Conversations
If you’re looking for an intentional way to welcome Jesus into your heart and home this Christmas, I share with you these Advent thoughts intended to initiate heart talks between you and God, and with those you celebrate. Experience Christmas new through welcoming Jesus to be born — not just in a manger, not just unto the world — but born into you and all your joyful and broken realities.
Preparing your Heart and Home for Christmas {An Advent Devotional}
It really is the most wonderful time of the year! After a national chorus of gratitude, we slip into the magical days of Christmas. When the music we play is delightful. And the spirits of people are more cheerful. When our thoughts are turning toward others. And hope seems a little closer to reach. The world may think it’s mere tradition that infuses these days with joy. But we know better. No matter how hard it is to find baby Jesus in the stores we frequent. No matter how much the American consumer culture tries to dominate. When God’s people […]
Reaping What We’ve Sown
There’s a harvest to reap on this earth. And we are the laborers. Sowing seeds of love and grace. Praying for the Giver of Life to nourish and grow. Gathering believing hearts to be welcomed at the feast. We’re always sowing, whether we realize it or not. The question is What are we sowing? Are we planting seeds of judgment that turn people away. Are we planting seeds of bitterness that take root and choke out life? Are we planting seeds of division that hinder and block the Light? Or are we planting seeds of hope that offer promise to those […]
How to Harvest Love
To harvest is to gather. To recognize what is ripe and to collect and enjoy the fruits of a season. And then we feast. We let the sweet and savory crops satisfy us. And we give thanks for what’s been given. Oh that we would be a people who do this with love! That we would recognize this fruit of the Spirit that has grown and ripened in the season we’re living right now. That we would collect our experiences and memories of the love given and received. Of the seeds planted with grace, and the witness of love growing […]
God Has Elected His People
Together with our disappointment, our hope, our rejoicing, our confusion, our faith and our fear, we start a new day. The sun has risen and the common language we can speak is love. And thankfulness. And praise. So let us come together after months of division and separate thinking, and celebrate the citizenship that unites our spirits, that transcends this earth. We are one! One body, one people, under the name of Christ and the residence of Heaven. If the world sees us as divided, they will not trust us. If the world witnesses our hate, they will not recognize […]
Praying for You to be Known Today
In the way we communicate Truth. In the way we speak to strangers. In the way we live out love. In the way we talk about people. In the way we give of our resources. In the way we disagree. In the way we show hope. In the way we raise our children. In the way we remain faithful to our covenants. In the way we approach brokenness. In the way we seek and offer forgiveness. In the way we enter into injustice. In the way we respect the other. In the way we live and relate, I pray your […]
The Masks We Wear {every day}
They’re scary. Because they powerfully shape us. They influence the way we behave and relate. They hide our real self. And they trick others (even ourselves) into thinking we’re people we aren’t. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? Like the “Everything’s Okay Mask” that hides what we’re really feeling. That disguises our hurts. Because we don’t want to burden people. Or feel weak. Or be vulnerable. Or how about the “Mask of Beauty” that hides almost anything because of its powerful influence in a culture where beauty is upheld as an idol. And then there’s the “Mask of […]
The Christian voice in politics
….is often the hardest voice for me to listen to. Some of you will read that title and not want to read what follows. We shy away from these conversations because they never seem to go well. Someone usually leaves offended or hurt or confused. So, I’ll say upfront, that this isn’t really a post about politics. But it’s the political conversation that has me praying and searching for truth. Seeking God for his heart in it all, rather than what just seems right. God’s truth is steadfast and eternal. But he is a living and active presence in this […]
The hardest way to receive life
Is to die. I’ve mentioned before how we worship in homes with several other families. It’s a very intentional gathering centered on simple worship, togetherness, openness, and mutual learning and leading. We love it. There’s intimacy, confessions, children opening their hearts, testimonies of God’s faithfulness, and worship through song and prayer and dance. The worship and community isn’t contained to Sunday. It’s carried through the week as we interact with each other and encourage one another in our efforts to engage those around us with love and grace. Life happens in this community. And where there is life, there is […]
Kneading to Connect {with Dad}
Here’s the boy who struggles to believe in himself. Isn’t he cute? We think he’s wonderful! He loves deep. So deep that it hurts himself sometimes. He’s passionate about people, and tender toward the needs and feelings of others. Connor’s been working on his insecurities since young boyhood. He has this keen insight into his own self and from a young age he’s been able to articulate his feelings and openly share them. I can’t wait to see what God does with this gift! Well, after the little “you can’t rap as good as me” incident, Mark sensed a need […]
We are learning each other deep
Today I yelled at my children. I mean YELLED. Like at the top of my lungs with a really ugly face. Suddenly, their bickering had reached a limit with me and I simply couldn’t hear another whine or argument. So to set them straight, I screamed out my frustration, threw a book on the ground and stomped my foot really hard. Wondering how effective this method was? Well, one child stormed off into the woods, one started crying and another reprimanded me. (I’ll let you guess which child did what). Oh I really hate these moments. The ones where I […]
Everyone Needs It
A friend of mine approached me recently needing to communicate something she was frustrated about in regards to our friendship. It’s a friend I trust, so the words fell graciously and I was able to sort through and discover truth: at the root of her disappoint was my lack of affirmation. She wasn’t seeking it. But even when we don’t seek or expect affirmation, we may still experience the consequences of not receiving it. These consequences surface as insecurity or resentment or feeling undervalued. The absence of grace-filled words is just as powerful as a sharp tongue intended to hurt. […]
Praying for our Enemy Today
It’s comforting to know you remember with us. Not just that day, but all the terrible broken moments in our history. You’ve witnessed and experienced with your children many 9-11 moments. Bloody battles. Invasions on foreign land. Heart wrenching deaths of innocent victims. Plots of an enemy. Oh how you must have cried out for us. For the lost lives. For the hurting mamas. For the children left without a daddy. For the husband who went home to no wife. You must have ached for the eyes that witnessed it all. For the men and women who ran into the […]
We’re So Glad We Did
Her day came on August 18th. Five years old and full of life. With no kitchen and daddy head down in the remodel, the day passed without much fuss or frolic. But still, we laid in bed and told her birth story like we do for all the children on their special day. And we giggled at how we stopped for a big breakfast in the city while contractions were increasing in strength and frequency. And we remembered how before we took that two hour drive, our family of five piled into bed together at 4:30am to savor the last […]
Sanded Through
I’m recreating a piece of furniture I purchased on Craigslist for $20. It’s a classic colonial dark pine buffet and hutch, something similar to what my mother had in our dining room in the 1980s. As I sand by hand every inch and crevice, exposing new surface and leaving some old, I consider how even our furniture can reflect a little bit of who we are. We are a people continually being made new. By the very hands of our Creator who makes us more like him. By the experiences that round out our edges. By the people who enhance […]
And it starts with you
There we sat. Three couples. One, we know well because we’ve been sharing life with them for a while now. They’re like family to us. The other, we’ve only begun the friendship, but we can tell it’s full of heart and neighborly living. It was a fun evening of laughing, ignoring children, honest (but, interrupted) conversation, and discoveries about who we are. This is how community happens. Over meals. Through sharing. In time together. With new and old friends. There we sat. A body of believers gathered in a circle. With one family new, bravely exposing their pain. Their uniqueness. […]
Heart Exposed
I have had to overcome a grumbling heart during our kitchen remodel. I simply do not do well in situations where my house is a disaster, my routine isn’t possible and my normal tasks of feeding and washing are made difficult. These days have taken me back to Uganda when the power would go out. Or water was scarce and I was forced into a place of discomfort and inconvenience. Mark and I would react very different to these times. Mark would do what was needed to push through the moment. He would except the challenge and put in the […]
Days of our Lives
The harvest is plentiful. The air is changing. The dark is setting in earlier each week. The heat is slower to come and quicker to leave. And with these cues, our calendars transform. Where camps, barbecues and pool parties filled our days, we now look ahead to a weekly program that will govern our next few months. There’s something refreshing about this. In the same way I was antsy for the frolicking of summer after the rigidity of the school year, I now welcome the predictable rhythm that will hold our days together. But may these things that hold our […]
Praying for you to speak today
Because I really believe you do. I’ve heard you. And I love the sound of your voice. The way it comes through other people. The way it rests in my mind as a clear and truthful thought. The way is rushes past me like the wind and raises goose bumps on my skin. The way it presses into my heart and I can’t decide if it hurts or feels wonderfully alive. This is how I’m hearing you now. Is it meant to feel like a burden? Cause it does. But not the heavy kind, not the kind that weighs me […]
A Thousand Times Yes
My twelve year old came to me yesterday. Will you read out loud the Chronicles of Narnia again? Totally! And can we all pile on your bed while you read them to us? Absolutely! Like every night before we go to sleep? I stop and focus on the sweetness of the moment. Oh, that you would love books. That you would desire to be with me. That you would want to share with me one of your loves. This is pretty much my dream. So yes, son, a thousand times yes. I pause to reflect on that response of my […]
Grace in the In-Between Places
There are places that take you from here to there. The places in between where you’re leaving, and where you’re going. The unknown places where you’re searching, understanding, discovering, grieving, exploring, resting, anticipating. These places are bittersweet. They can taste of insecurity and loneliness. Or fear and unknowing. Sorrow and doubt. Anxiety with deep excitement. Complacency and fatigue. Hope and longing. Even pain and suffering. But when you depart from this in between place and you finally enter into your new reality – a new way of living — a seed of appreciation takes root. And you become thankful for […]
Don’t be Chicken: practice hospitality to the unbelieving world
Jesus was often placed in situations where people were trying to trap him. Catch him in the act of disobedience to the law. Or trick him into answering a loaded question. But this Jesus couldn’t be fooled. In his wisdom, he responded with parables and questions and answers that needed clarifying. This was confusing to the disciples, and maybe even a little embarrassing. This was the guy they left everything to follow. This was the guy they stood next to when the crowds gathered to listen. Surely they were hoping for a leader with clear-cut answers, powerful comebacks, and responses […]
Praying {Christ-fil-us} today
For it seems to me we are missing the point. Of our mission. Of what our purpose is. Of how we are to live in this world. Christ-fil-us So we live as testimonies of who you are and all you value. Not make public proclamations about what is right and wrong, which places us against other people. Christ-fil-us So we can point to the One Who Came to Save. Not point fingers and judge the sins of the world. Christ-fil-us So we can love abundantly and grace generously. Not just those like us, but everyone. Christ-fil-us So we can live […]
When you’re {literally} aching for more
Ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and you will find. These past few months I’ve said yes a lot. To going. To giving. To community. To hosting. To visitors. To less sleep. To more people. To not knowing. To being patient. To releasing control. My heart is so full from loving and being loved. But in the dark of the night I woke up to my body aching and fevering. In my sleepless tossing and turning I knew in my spirit that my flesh needed to catch up to my heart. It’s slower and weaker, more practical […]
praying for my {big} boys today
‘Cause really, who else will? With the same fervency and compassion. With the same steadfast heart and committed spirit. Who else but their mama will pray for them with the depth of understanding of who they are and who they want to be? Their daddy’s prayers are full of spirit. They are heart felt and listened to. They are needed and special in a world where daddy’s tend to leave. But my heart spends hours upon hours with their hearts every day. I tend to those boys, and they purify me. I feed and nourish them, and they swell my […]
Making Room for the Spirit
To welcome the Spirit, we must slow down…and listen…and notice…and wait. Seems near impossible in our fast paced-control crazy-everything must be planned kind of lives we live. But God is always present. Always available, ready to be made known among his people. And so the making room for his Spirit requires a commitment to break from these cultural tendencies that shape our habits and dictate our days. There’s a gap between the physical and spiritual, and the coming together of both our worlds must be bridged by our desire for it, our availability to it. There are things we can […]
I Claim a Victory
Sometimes things just don’t go as we hoped. Or planned. Or expected. Sometimes a long awaited event becomes a moment to grieve. And high expectations crumble into hard realities. It’s easy to run from these times. To excuse them away with hows and whys. To miss their ability to teach. To dismiss the hard and cling to the easy. But there is sweet learning in the places and people and moments that require more grace. More pouring out. More restraint. More honesty. For times such as these demand more Jesus. More trust. More patience. More yield. And it’s in patience […]
Freedom From
The color of freedom has always been red. For his blood was the beginning of breaking free. Of loosening the shackles of sin. Of life conquering death. And the way to freedom was indeed war. The battle between good and evil. The victory that came with a price. We wave our star spangled banner high, with pride. We parade around giving honor. And we celebrate the place and time we find ourselves. Our family, we do this. We participate in this tradition, this remembering. It’s important for a people to come together in celebration of victories. But there’s a freedom […]
Discovering Holiness
I watched him playing today. From the kitchen window as I washed the dishes, he catches my attention. His agile body swiftly running through the grass, away from the older brother who threatens to tackle. His giggle is darling. I can’t hear it through the pane, but I know the sound by heart. It’s not often the colors of our family are noticeable to me. Yes, we’re white, brown and black. But to me, we’re just us. The Manrys. Pieced together by the Lord, held together in love. It never seems exotic or interesting or unusual, the way our family […]
A Fruitful Day
Whether it’s fruit of the earth or fruit of the Spirit Discover it. Hold it. Eat it Delight in it. Because it’s sweet. Offer it to others. And when you think you are deplete Find a friend who has some. Search together with people you love. Because fruit enjoyed within community is always sweeter. This fruit lived and shared and consumed in community, it stains. Our mouth so we speak the truth. Our hands so they are generous and gentle. Our feet, so they go to the places where people need Jesus, need us. Enjoy this season of fruit. The […]
A Tapestry of Grace
Maybe one day we’ll actually walk the orange roads together… ….and there we sat drinking coffee, reflecting on our shared days there in the place that united our hearts. The place we separately journeyed to following the author and perfector of our faith and story. Two stories, creatively woven together by divine threads of people, culture, passions, and fashion. We are thankful God led us to the same place. And as we kick up some orange dust together, God stitches into our heart a truth: the places he leads us to are holy, set apart from the places we travel […]
When where you are is not your home
You live different. Your patterns change. You’re forced to adapt the way you eat and move about. This is good for me to experience. The instinct of my flesh is to settle, root, even in places where I can’t imagine it possible. Like here. As the orange dust gathered at my feet, I watched the Lord build a home for our family. And this house of grace is how he sustained me. It’s where I carved comfortable out of insecurity. Where the unknown became familiar. Even in the harsh realities of Uganda, the Lord was generous to shape for me […]
The Pearl of Africa {and of my heart}
I was told my nose might not survive this place. That the odors themselves might send me running home. Thankfully, God let me breathe in grace. And it covered the biting smells near impossible to escape. The suffocating smoke of burning trash lingers down every road and travels through the open windows that invite the outdoors inside. And then there’s the unfamiliar body odor of a people with different customs and diet. And the periodic whiffs of urine from casual uses of the roadside as a lavatory. And the tangy scent of jack fruit that permeates the air when it’s […]
Praying Surrender Today
It’s been easy to trust until now. There’s been distance and unknowing. Like a story you’re writing and I’m telling about someone else. But now my eyes have seen. My arms have held. And this changes everything. I know myself. My flesh will try to protect my heart with guard. My mind will wonder and doubt. My spirit will cling (maybe too tight) to the story. You know better than I how I like things my way. How I’d rather fail myself than for others to disappoint me. How I hold tight to what defines me and resent what challenges […]
Departure Thoughts
I’ll never forget the moment when I stepped foot off the plane in Uganda after visiting Michigan for a few months and thought I’m home. I genuinely never thought I would feel that way about a place so different than what I was used to. A place so dirty and stinky. A place where I was noticed everywhere I went. A place I didn’t always understand. A place where death seemed too real. When was it? I remember thinking. Was it when the children started asking for beans and rice instead of macaroni and cheese? Was it when the women […]
You Will Lack Nothing
I’ve done motherhood both ways. This body swelling all on its own and me going along for the ride. Never having to tell it what to do. Never having to tell my heart how to love because it gently grew in beat with the living soul inside me. And then there are the times when the stretching and pulling happened to my spirit, not my belly. I expanded in ways I didn’t know was possible. And as these two babies grew inside other women’s bodies, the joy of the Lord grew inside me. The natural and unnatural expanding of heart […]
Spirit-filled beauty: Creative Spaces
When we color and design our world and spaces, we are reflecting a core characteristic of who God is and what he does. It’s the first revelation we know of him. He’s a creator. He created the material world we live in. He formed his people in flesh. And from this creation story, we witness a God who cares about the physical nature. Who makes all things beautiful. Not the shallow kind of beauty that exists to disguise a broken reality. Not the false kind of beauty sought after by those seeking perfection. The beauty God brings to his creation […]
Bigger and Brighter
Saturday night’s sky held a supermoon. This special moon happens once a year when a full moon occurs at the point when it’s closest to the Earth. From our perspective the moon appears bigger and brighter than usual. I stepped outside around midnight to catch a glimpse. Sure enough, the dark night glowed different. Through the parting shallow clouds a bright moon illuminated the black sky. These pictures I found online are similar to what I saw. I appreciate unusual occurrences such as this. They’re reminders that the celestial world our God created is active. In orbit. And in relationship […]
Spirit-filled Beauty: a theology of creative design
Before I talk parties and color and design, I must nest it all in some theology. Mark and I can’t spend hard earned money on making a barn cute or designing our house with color and comfort, without having good theological conversations first. Wish you were a fly on our walls during those? Probably not, but I assure you they’re fun! So, stick with me a minute… We influence our environment, and our environment influences us. It’s the reality of being flesh, not just spirit. We’ve been created as physical beings deeply shaped by the material world we live in. […]
Praying Mercy Today
You say you desire mercy, not sacrifice. What does that mean? Cause I thought sacrifice was the way to live Christian. The way to give of myself for another. But your word is true. So I wrestle with it. And I realize something. I can sacrifice my money for the cause of another. But it’s not really giving myself. And I can sacrifice part of my day to help someone, without really entering into their need. To sacrifice is to offer. The act of giving up something that is mine for someone else. These burnt offerings are not meaningless. They […]
When things come full circle
There’s a sense of wholeness. Completion. For the present somehow points to the beginning. The now is deeply connected to the then. And the moment we find ourselves suddenly intensifies. Because the story reads rich as we remember together where God took us to, where he’s brought us from, and the place we now stand. A full circle. Of experiences. Of community. Of journey. Seven years ago in May, our family traveled for the first time to Uganda. One month. Three kids. And a baggage of anticipation and anxiety. This wasn’t just any visit. It was a “we’ve never been […]
Praying Patience Today
I don’t know how to wait. For a process to be complete. For my children to finally appreciate me. For my husband to finish his projects. For the quiet to still me. For a long walk to calm me. For your word to dwell in me. For your will to be known to me. Sure, I survive the time. And at the fruition of most things I can gaze back and appreciate. But in the middle of the moments and at the center of my waiting is impatience. Instead of anticipating in faith, I get restless in my vulnerability. Instead […]
my favorite things this spring
Enough with the dying and resurrection already!! This girl is moving on to the superficial…truth be told, I lug my deep thoughts around with me nearly everywhere I go. They’re part of my heart. And the cross? It comes too. Because Uganda changed the way I see it. And now this new interpretation of the cross changes the way I see everything else. But…today I’m noticing some things around my house I really like right now. Nobody asked. But I thought I’d share anyway. ‘Cause I would want to know what your favorite things are. Like your favorite recipe right […]
The Resurrected Life
The sun rises on a new day. A day of rejoicing. I’m excited to leave the cross, even though I know it comes with us. Though it doesn’t define who we are, it shapes our every day. For the crucified Jesus doesn’t call us to a moment of dying, but a life of surrender. Dying to anything that doesn’t lead us into righteousness. Anything that doesn’t glorify God. When we take up our cross and follow Jesus – I mean when we really follow Jesus – we will experience death. Death of expectations. Of social habits. Big girl dreams. Cultural […]
Stained
A tradition passed down through generations. Ordinary white eggs about to transform. They are gently wrapped in colored silk and immersed in water and vinegar. Funny how this Easter tradition of dying eggs involves vinegar. And it was vinegar that last touched the lips of a dying Jesus. Stained. From ordinary to beautiful! And so are we. Gently wrapped in grace, immersed in love. And stained. Marked by the blood that covers our sin and gives us life. Transformed by the stain of Christ. From ordinary creatures to redeemed children of God!
Cross Shaped Hospitality
A heart that welcomes, a spirit that invites and a life that is interruptible. There’s a cost to this way of living. This life that I want for our family. The giving, the receiving, the welcoming, the growing, the pouring out, the getting filled. And I want more of it….but I don’t want to do what it takes to have more. Because the hospitable life bears a cross. There’s a dying of old ways and expectations that make room in your heart and home for Jesus. For others. For love. For Grace. It’s not easy, this dying. This surrendering of […]
Trod Upon Us With Triumphal Entry
With branches of palm they welcomed him. A crowd receiving their Lord. No chariots. No trumpets. No robe. No carpet. Just a donkey, the cloaks of friends, and proclamations of those who believe. Not the expected entry of a King. But the Son of God doesn’t seek grandiose receptions. Only genuine welcome. And so we lay down our garments, we lay down our life. This is how we welcome you. In the submission of our will. And we lay down our cut branches in hopes you will graft us into you. This is how we receive you. In the knowing […]
Praying New Vision Today
I see beauty as shiny. Sparkly. Without flaw. Brand new. Certain colors trump others. My eyes know. They’ve been trained to look past so much to find what is beautiful. To reach for the perfect. To desire fresh. If I won’t grab the damaged cereal box on a shelf, how will my heart embrace the broken life? It’s humbling, really. That you would choose me, when I won’t choose others. It’s because you see different. Your eyes find beauty everywhere. Because your lens is love. In the lost. In all colors. In the hooded. In the damaged. In the hurting. […]
A Gift From the Quiet
Last year during Lent the children and I chose to embrace a little bit of silence each day. To listen for God. To hear things we don’t normally hear. And in order to make time for silence, we had to stop, give up what we were doing in those moments. Remembering today the gift it gave us… In the quiet we’ve been sitting. Together in the same room, no talking, simply being. Some close their eyes, some keep them open, and at different times we look at the wooden cross hung on our mantel. Even Tessa participates, though her three-year […]
When Life Happens Sooner Than We Expect
Celebrate! Like butterflies bursting through their cocoons, our feet emerge from boots to feel the earth beneath our toes. And green stems push through the soil. Trees are budding, birds are chirping, flowers blooming. It’s Spring…in March! For those of us who live in cold weather states, this is an unexpected gift. Grace, really. Something to shout about. Do we feel a little cheated on winter? Maybe, but we’re already over it. There’s always next year for snow covered grounds, children on sleds, and hot cocoa in our hands. We gladly receive all this life at a time when we […]
What does death look like in the living?
I’m clinging tight to Jesus in these days approaching the cross. I know this Easter story. It’s etched on my heart. But I cling, not because I’m afraid of Jesus dying (I know what follows Good Friday)….but that he calls me to die with him. If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. These words of Jesus are strong. They cut right through our “Christians have […]
Salt and Light
We are the salt of the earth. We are to preserve hope. Enhance the taste of God’s goodness in all things. Season this world with our active faith and joyful spirits. We are the light of the world. We are to expose the truth. Reveal Jesus. And live as a visible reflection of the one who created us. Colorful, equal, beautiful us. This is the hope of the hospitable life. That we live into our purpose as salt and light. As people called to penetrate this world with Jesus. By the giving and receiving of life. From the creatures that […]
God Speaks
We live like he doesn’t anymore. Like callings to a new land were only for Abraham. And burning bushes were just for Moses. And pillars of clouds were only for the Israelites. Like leaving all your possessions behind was just for the rich man. And risking your life to save your people was only for Esther. But maybe we’re just not listening. What if our calendars, satisfied bellies, and comfortable homes keep us from leaving? From seeing the bush in flames. From following the cloud in front of us. From walking away from the things that hold us captive. From […]
I Think of Her
On International Women’s Day I think of her. And her. And her. I remember her. And her. And them. And her. And each of them. These women who serve their husbands. Carry children in their womb, on their back. Dig in their gardens. Cook day after day. They have inspired me. These women who struggle. Get dirty. Don’t complain. Lose children. Get sick. They have encouraged me. These women who are strong. Who rise above. Who keep trying. They have taught me. These women who hosted me. Fed me. Walked with me. Welcomed me. Served me. Loved and cared for […]
The Everyday Little Big Things
I’m pretty good at loving the people who are fun to love. Easy to love. The people I want to be like. Or the people a little bit like me. I’m good to those people. I’m available to them. I extend grace to them. But what about everybody else? What about the awkward people? The ones that haven’t seemed to learn the social graces of our time and place? And what about the people who continually need something? Or the people who exhaust you? The ones you don’t seem to understand? I’m lost in this concern this week. I can’t […]
But what about you?
As I seek a raw Jesus, my hope is to hear him and see him in new and more truthful ways. We all have ideas and images of who Jesus is and what he came to do — inherited from family and religious communities, shaped and distorted by particular influences and experiences, and honed by God. It’s difficult to step outside of these preconceived ideas – some truthful, some not. But I want to know him. To see him for who he really is. So I open the gospels. For here, living and breathing in these words is his story. […]
Holes
We’ve given up chocolate. Or coffee. Or Facebook. We’re doing without meat. Or complaining. Or Sugar. And in this giving up, there are empty places left behind. The instinct of our flesh will be to fill those holes with something it wants. Something it convinces us we need. If we gave up chocolate, we’ll increase our sugar or find comfort in something else sweet. If we gave up Facebook, it’s likely we’ll spend more time on Pinterest. If we gave up coffee, we’ll probably find another drink that satisfies the thirst of our flesh. If we gave up meat, there’s […]
Keeping it Raw
The Jesus we like to identify with and tell people about is the ever loving, full of grace, resurrected Jesus. We mention that he died on the cross for our sins but we don’t talk much about what the really means. Maybe it’s because we’re not fully sure why death was necessary. Or what that means for us as his followers. But when we speak of his life, death and resurrection, we claim the resurrection as the miraculous part. His life is unique and challenging. His death, humbling. But his resurrection? That’s one miracle no one’s been able to imitate. […]
The Skinny on Fasting
Just a few more days before Lent begins! After trying every flavor of the baked paczki at Give Thanks Bakery this coming Tuesday, I will begin forty days of fasting as we anticipate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For those of us who didn’t grow up with this Lenten practice, we tend to interpret this time of fasting as simply “giving something up.” We choose something we really like, and do without it for 40 days. And maybe, just maybe we pray a little bit more because our giving up reminds us to. But surely there’s more to […]
Rebels of Love
God is love. He not only created in love. He not only loves all people. He not only intends for us to love and be loved. He is love. His very nature, and all his intentions, rooted in love. And then there’s us: rebels of love. We are a created people who rebel against what is good for us. We’ve been doing it since we were created. It’s deeply apart of who we are, passed down and inherited from all those who’ve come before us. Since Eden, we’ve been choosing what we think is good for us, rather than receiving […]
You’re gonna want to make these
This recipe was shared with me by Tessa Stockman, my fun to dine with, pray with, have same age kids with, discern with, cook with, bake with and all things share life with kind of friend. Rosemary Strawberry Scones with Lemon Icing Ingredients: 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting 1/2 cup sugar 2 teaspoons baking powder 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 1 cup heavy cream 1/3 cup strawberry jam Glaze: 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice, from 1 large lemon 2 cups powdered sugar […]
Oh to love like him
1 John 4 teaches us about God’s love. And ours. This is how God showed his love among us; He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent. He actively came searching for all that was lost to him. This is the redemptive mission of our Creator. He goes searching. From the moment man left God, God went looking. “Where are you?” he says to the ones who hid in shame. He goes searching. For the sole righteous man to spare from […]
Hospitable Politics
God never intended his holy people to be ruled by an earthly leader. His heart for them was something different than the reality of the rest of the world. His longing for them, and what he called them to, was holiness – to be set apart for his purposes. But Israel rejected God’s will for them. They wanted to be like the surrounding nations. They wanted to be lead by a strong king more than a faithful God. And God hears the prayers of his people. He is a living and active God who makes known his will, but doesn’t […]
Praying Grace Today
Oh that your grace might chase me. Into my selfishness. Into my pride. Into my control. Oh that your grace might cover me. My sin. My ugly parts. My insecurities. Oh that your grace might teach me. Of love. Of forgiveness. Of renewal. Oh that your grace might lead me. Into the pain of others. Into uncomfortable places. Into your perfect will. Oh that your grace might show me. Hope. Faithfulness. Affirmation. Oh that your grace might humble me. To listen. To learn. To sacrifice. Oh that your grace might reveal. My strengths. My courage. My gifts. Oh that your […]
Our Maine Environment
After weeks of sickness and pushing through the darkness to find the light, we finally receive our reward. Two friends who share a birthday. Just two days apart…and ten years. We dropped off 7 children to spend the weekend with Aunts and Grandparents. Met at the airport with handsome husbands in the lead and only one darling baby to keep us from forgetting who we really are – parents. We depart for Maine, and the lovely Kismet Inn. From the dead, bleak, cold of winter we enter into Shadi’s home. A home of life, color and warmth (which had very […]
The Face of Jesus
We traveled to see The Face of Jesus today. Oh how we wish our feet took us in sandals to stand in the crowds listening to his stories or to eat the bread he multiplied or to cast our nets with him into on the sea. Instead, we traveled in our vehicle to the city of Detroit where stands a building dedicated to art. The building itself is art. We toured a special exhibition called The Face of Jesus, which brings together for the first time paintings and drawings of the Dutch artist Rembrandt van Rijn’s and his students who […]
Fresh Water Words
I’m seeking God more intentionally these days in the matters of our family. Matters in how we are loving and relating with one another. How we are shaping each other. And when you seek God, you will find him. I’m knocking quieting through prayer and fasting and he has faithfully opened the door to truth. And even though it’s a promise he gives us, I’m still a little surprised when it happens. I held my bible in my hands with a confidence that where it fell open, there would be a word to dwell on. I needed the thoughts and […]
Grace in Death
Five years ago today we faced tragic death. Oh, how an instant can change everything. How one event can alter the future of many. Just a normal day at our home in Uganda. And a ring of the phone just like we heard so often. It wasn’t a greeting or a message or an invitation. It was the panicked voice of a wife who just got word her husband, our friend, was in an accident. And he wasn’t alone. Together, with our teammate Adam, he had traveled to purchase coffee beans on a mountain just a few hours from our […]
Facebook Hospitality
Funny how something intended to connect can make you feel so disconnected. Our world is getting bigger and smaller at the same time. Bigger because we are expanding beyond our closest communities and engaging broader, more distant places and people. Smaller, because suddenly those far off places don’t seem so far off anymore due to easy and frequent communication. Facebook has quickly dominated our worldwide social scene. It’s telling people’s stories. It’s changing the experience of the missionary. It’s connecting people with similar journeys who wouldn’t otherwise find each other. It’s a tool for encouragement. It carries messages and begs […]
How [not] to be a Grace Giver
When your daughter trips on a toy and spills coffee all over your table and rug, don’t jump up to grab paper towel and leave the little offender crying on the couch in front of a room full of people. When your four year old is acting sassy to you, don’t turn around and do the same thing back at her. When your husband makes a confession, don’t let the stress and busy of the holidays keep you mad and pouty instead of forgiving and engaging. When someone eats an ingredient you need for a recipe that night, don’t stop […]
A Healing Home
[bl]I[/bl] savored the sweet Christmas days of husband home, seven upstairs sleeping, children creating, the couch holding us often, the mornings starting late, frequent visitors, and a messy home. And just when I began anticipating the days of the new year, my body surrendered to a virus. The aching from head to toe kind. I stay in bed. The children attempt school without me. The littles run wild. I surface only to satisfy my role as chef and referee. But mostly I rest. In my loud, active, busy home I wait for healing. I want the kind of home that heals. […]
In the beginning…
“In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.” [bl]A[/bl]ll beginnings need to begin with the Word. In the Word. Because the only way to begin anything is through Jesus. Healing begins with him. Discovery begins with him. True living begins with him. Satisfaction begins with him. Hope begins with him. It’s divinely good that the birth of […]
What Happens After Jesus is Born?
We come to know God. The afterglow of Christmas has me looking and listening for God to reveal himself. Jesus is God in the flesh, God making himself known to man. So after Jesus is born, we can expect to see and hear God. To know him more fully. Over the past few weeks I’ve been verbally expressing my frustration with a particular loved one. He is facing consequences of a poor decision. The problem is, these consequences don’t just affect him. They’re bleeding into my life and I resent it. I literally spoke the words out loud to myself […]
Christmas Demands a Response
[bl]J[/bl]esus can’t be born in you and you stay the same. He changes everything. Your life must respond to his presence. He no longer only dwells within you – growing and expanding your life – now he’s delivered unto you a life to give to others. This is you living differently. This is you thinking of others before you think of yourself. This is you compassionate about the people God loves. This is you concerned for injustice. This is you loving through grace-filled eyes. This is you hopeful for redemption. This is you taking love risks. You, open for the […]
Live in the Story
The Christmas story is like no other. A broken World. A created people separated from their God through sin. The prophets recalling and anticipating divine acts. God, unfolding his story. A covenant with Abram. God’s promise of love and grace to all he created. Set apart and holy Israel, unfaithful to their calling. People in need of a Savior. A miraculous conception. A Creator like no other. A baby in a manger. God born in humility. Mary and Joseph welcoming their son. Mankind receiving their Messiah. A stable to labor and deliver. Environments of grace are where God births life. […]
Something for your Christmas gathering
[bl]C[/bl]hristmas Eve is full of anticipation. The eagerness for morning to come. The curiosity of what will be under the tree. The wondering of how the babe in swaddling will change the coming year. We wait. We can’t sleep. We hope. I wonder how Mary felt in the final moments of her laboring. She was giving birth to a Savior! What does that feel like? Surely the anticipation was too great. The curiosity unbearable. The wonderment so intense. It’s easy to forget the human emotions and reactions that must have been present in this divine moment intentionally entangled in humanity. […]
Two Inseparable Gifts
[bl]T[/bl]is the season of giving and receiving. The very heart of hospitality. And knowing how to do both with grace is a gift in and of itself. All giving, even that which is wrapped in paper and tied with bows, ought to be from the heart. Simple gestures and graces to hold that communicate I know you. I care about you. I thought of you. I want to provide for you. And all receiving is a heart gift as well. Welcoming into your life what others offer you. With genuine gratitude, authentic appreciation spoken or shown. So when we make […]
Make Room for Christmas
[bl]D[/bl]o you feel him moving? Stirring inside of you? Stretching, pushing against you? His life growing larger and stronger, more complete…ready to be born? These are the days we are expecting. Waiting for Jesus who has come, is here, and will come again. This ever present, ever coming God is continually conceiving life in his people, expanding them, and delivering redemption in this world. We are the stable, the humble human dwelling Jesus is born. Are you available? Do you have room for him to be born in you? If not, then Christmas needs to begin with making room. In […]
When Pizza is Hospitable
[bl]I[/bl] believe in the hospitality of food. The way it invites people to gather and taste of its goodness. Oh that we might do the same. Since the beginning of time, food has brought people together. It’s central to our daily routines, our holiday celebrations, and the focus of many stories throughout Scripture. Though we live in a time and place where we choose our food based on how it looks, how cheap it is, and whether or not it pleases our tongue – feeding ourselves is one of the more intimate things we do to our bodies. The problem is, […]
Every Christmas After
[bl]T[/bl]he very first Christmas was Jesus being born unto the world. Every Christmas after, is Jesus being born in us. As we anticipate and wait in these Advent days, we are preparing for his birth – not only in a manger, but in hearts and homes. Jesus being born into our sin. Jesus, being born into our brokenness. Jesus being born into our relationships. Jesus being born into the work of our hands, the words of our mouth. This is no ordinary birth. It’s not the kind that mark’s first breath. It’s the kind that brings forth new life. What […]
This is How We Welcome
Advent. Anticipating the coming of Jesus. The anticipation of anything involves waiting. Expecting. Hoping. Preparing. It’s discerning how to welcome what is to come. Jesus Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. The moment in God’s redemptive story when he enters the world. Enters into the brokenness of man to bring about wholeness and restoration. How do we prepare our hearts and homes for such a birth as this? I look to the days and years surrounding the nativity story for discernment. The people, places and actions authored by God. The first moments when this world welcomed the […]
When Truth Enters Your Home
You know it. You can feel it. It is strong and full of life. A breathing message that speaks to your heart, you’re whole body. Because the dwelling place of God’s spirit knows when it hears it’s own language. Truth. It’s a bitter sweet song to your soul because it identifies brokenness and proclaims hope in the same breath. And it demands a response. Rejection or reception. That’s the decision. To embrace the message and live into the truth. Or turn from it, and live as you always have. From the lips of one we love, truth was spoken in […]
Be Awkward
[bl]T[/bl]here’s an uncomfortableness when initiating meaningful moments. Not sure why. But surely you know the feeling I’m talking about. The moment when you want to pray for someone, but you hesitate because it feels awkward. Or when you think it would be good to take a conversation to a deeper level, but you’re afraid others won’t join you. Or you gather as a small group and you hate to interrupt the social, and you’re not quite sure how to transition to the devotional. Maybe these moments are awkward because we wish they would initiate themselves, naturally occur without us trying. […]
An Altar of Thankfulness
[bl]W[/bl]hen anger settles in, or irritations gnaw. When schedules keep us distracted, or sleep captures us. We forget to be thankful. When we’re caught up in the good life, or brought down through hardship. We fail to draw close to God with offerings of gratitude. I go days without worshiping this way. Days without praise pouring from my lips. Yet I know that thankfulness births new life. New perspective. It shapes new choices and behaviors. It comforts the soul with hope. And it reminds our spirit that God is near, that he’s present in our story, and he’s always providing […]
The conversation of my heart
Is hospitality. My spirit and flesh wrestle as I struggle to understand how to give of myself this way. How to give of my family and home. How to be available when all I really want to do some days is hibernate with my family in the simple life. Indulge in the things I enjoy. Use my resources on myself. Today I’m thankful for the people in my life who converse with me. Who partner with me in hospitality. Who challenge me and affirm me. Encourage and restore me. I have a mother and sister who share a love for […]
One Source
[bl]W[/bl]hen Bobby told us that the village women of all ages and beliefs meet at the well every day. That their relationship and communal decisions – despite their differences in faith and traditions – matter because there is only one source of water and they have to share it….it struck me for the first time how this reality that I once lived among has significant theological truth. There’s but One Source. Of water. Of life. Of truth. And we all have to share it. Share Him. Jesus. The source of all things for all people. This is why our relationships […]
Everybody
[bl]I[/bl]t’s a catchy tune. But the words are even better. If there’s a theme song for our adoptions, this is it. The song of our heart, the words we want to proclaim. Everybody, everybody wants to love. Everybody, everybody wants to be loved. It’s Gospel, really. God is love. And everyone born of God is created to love and be loved. And if we don’t and we’re not, then we are incomplete. Not whole. Broken. This is the life of an orphan. They are missing out on the very thing they’ve been created from, created for. Love. And when we […]
When Boundaries are Hospitable
Good fences make good neighbors. I didn’t realize that Robert Frost is actually questioning this neighborly proverb in his poem Mending Wall. As two men come together to mend a stone wall, it’s the neighbor who utters the possible wisdom. Though many forces threaten the existence of a fence — the earth below, animals, hunters — this neighbor seems certain that its these structures that make good neighbors. The man who speaks the story wonders if it’s true. He says, before I built a wall I’d ask to know what I was walling in or walling out, and to whom […]
There’s No Place Like Home
[bl]O[/bl]n the 26th we reached our two year mark of being home. Bitter sweet are these milestones that have us looking back and forward, praising God for where he’s taken us and where we’re going. Home. There really is no place like it. The smells, the people, the patterns, the food. I know home isn’t a place that brings everybody joy. For some, it’s been the environment of pain, abandonment or abuse. May God continue to redeem this for you, creating new places and people to call home. For me, home is like a blanket that wraps me in everything […]
Knowing Why
[bl]T[/bl]here’s been an increasingly obvious sibling tension running through our home. There’s always been a power struggle between the boys. Dear friends, they are. Rarely separated, nearly like twins. But they’re not. One is older and one is younger and those seventeen and half months create a distinct sibling rivalry. The older – the one who sets his ambitions high — just wants to be good…and right…at everything. The younger one is tired of comprising, and isn’t too young to express it anymore. But more than getting his way, he wants to be like the older brother. Luke is a […]
Power Outage and Pumpkin Bread: A Taste of Jinja
[bl]T[/bl]he power went out. And I was taken back. Back to Uganda. To my cement house. To my frustrations over not being able to do laundry. To my gratitude for those hours of candlelight. To the moments lost because of no electricity. To the moments embraced because of no electricity. To the people whose dark hours were opposite of mine so we gathered in each others homes often. To the pounds of meat I would have to cook so it didn’t defrost and spoil. To the cold showers I despised. To the quietness that was first uncomfortable, but later treasured. […]
More than we can handle
[bl]I[/bl] continue to dwell on this idea of being fed. On why I’m afraid to feel hungry or empty. We misquote Scripture when we encourage the hurting or empty or anxious with the phrase, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Emptiness, suffering and the pouring out of life ought to be expected in those who follow Jesus into the brokenness of man. God never promises that the load will be light. He doesn’t promise an easy journey. Or limited participation because we don’t think we’re capable of more. In fact, he says our load to carry is a cross. […]
The Hospitality of Food
[bl]I[/bl]t’s the response of our flesh. The urges of our spirit. The appetites of our stomach seek satisfaction. The longings of our heart seek fulfillment. Hunger. It’s carnal and spiritual. We are a people who are continually emptied, body and soul, in need of continual replenishing. It’s the way we were created. So we would look to a provider. But in our fallenness, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to supply our own needs. Instead of upward, we look inward and outward for fulfillment. In fact, we don’t really even know what hunger is. At the first sign of it, we […]
All This Life
[bl]T[/bl]hese are the images I came home to last night. After three days gone, these children, this husband, this home instantly brought comfort to my tired mind. This life. The one I live. It’s beautiful and colorful. And the life we witness right now. In this season, in this place. The one that surrounds us. It is also colorful. So vibrant. It hardly seems possible. The change happens so fast. From greens to deep golds, bright yellows, vibrant oranges, stunning reds. I stand in the middle of my yard wanting to soak up all the color. Because I know well […]
The Apple of My Eye
Is her. She is so full of life and energy and creativity. This picture displays her personality beautifully. Ruffled. In motion. Spontaneous. Arms open ready to receive. Not everyone, though. For she can be slow to love. But when she does, she loves deep. And she clings tight to moments of holding and snuggling and being together. Surely this is abandonment redeemed by togetherness. And her heart knows it. And needs it. My blond haired, blue eyed girl is the image of myself. This brown haired, browned eyed girl reflects my spirit. The spirit God breathed life into when her […]
Being Present with the Past
[bl]M[/bl]y words are pouring into a study for an upcoming women’s retreat. And my thoughts are wrapped up in a situation that has me waiting for judgment and hopefully grace. So in order to be present in this virtual place, I want to re-post from my archives. May I always allow the past to speak into the present. Today, I need to be reminded of the Jesus I encountered in Uganda. For it is his presence that forms my words and helps me engage situations out of my control with truth and grace. See with me….again. [bl]I[/bl]n the quiet, I’ve […]
Grace in Consequence
[bl]O[/bl]ur behavior and choices lead to natural and created consequences. Often, we’re able to reconcile with our actions, even the immediate outcome. But it’s the lasting consequences that shape our heart. That’s where we’re haunted with the reminder of our poor choices, our sinful nature. That’s where we’re held captive by our decisions. That’s where our pain motivates healing and reconciliation, or escape and deeper rebellion. How do we recognize grace in our consequences? When people don’t trust us because of past behavior, where is the grace? When we watch how our decisions deeply affect and hurt others, where is […]
A Hospitable Tongue
[bl]W[/bl]e teach the young to speak words of kindness. The please and the thank you’s, the Mr. and Mrs. We correct their speech, help them choose appropriate words, and encourage politeness. What we’re doing is teaching them to talk and request kindly. But are we teaching them to really communicate? Better yet, do we know how to really communicate? Faithful communication and conversation is offering words of truth and receiving the words of another. Offering and receiving, the root of all hospitality. Even the tongue. What is it that we offer with our tongue? For Moses, it was a message […]
Remember
[bl]O[/bl]ur present struggles and tragedies quickly become our history. Events that shape us deeply, redefine us as individuals and community. Whether it’s bondage to a pharaoh or watching a sea part for your escape. Or entering battles unprepared and outnumbered. Or being persecuted because of who you believe in. Or enslaved because of the color of your skin. It’s the wars fought for land and rights. The sickness that swept through and brought death. The laws that kept us separate. The airplanes that crumbled buildings and stole life. These events will never go away. They are apart of our story […]
A Hospitality of Self
[bl]E[/bl]verything in me was building. It had been so for a few days now. It’s an emotional experience that seems out of my control. Like a monster is growing inside of me, feeding off my frustrations and irritations until it’s strong enough to take me over and use my body for its evil purposes. I’m not sure the children were exceptionally loud or argumentative. I just think I was exceptionally less patient and gracious. When Mark arrived home, I ran. Literally. I threw my running shoes on and headed down my driveway. Two darling toddlers attempted to follow me but […]
On the Fine Line
[bl]W[/bl]e all have them in our life. The people and commitments that keep us living on the fine line between gracious and graceless. They’re the things we feel called to. The people we are responsible for. The mission placed before us. The job we go to daily. We’re thankful for what’s been given to us. That God would entrust us with the responsibility. That he would call us to participate. And in our gratitude, our lips speak words of grace and our hands lift to praise. But these are also the things that empty us. Consume us. Leave us thirsty […]
Mutual Shaping
[bl]T[/bl]wo years ago today at a local café in Jinja, Uganda Mark and I considered the things we never would have done had we not married each other. We hardly recognize ourselves as the Mark Manry and Lori Gresham that fell in love. God has written for us a story that has journeyed us through struggle, vulnerability, sacrifice and joy. Now after 13 years of marriage, we are so proud of one another and how we’ve surrendered ourselves to God’s mutual shaping process that must occur if a marriage is to mature and grow and thrive. Mutual shaping, it’s the […]
The Hospitality of One
[bl]O[/bl]ur culture tends to group people. The church does too. We place everybody in these social categories. It’s our way of helping understand each other, even take care of each other. But I think sometimes this categorizing hinders true and authentic community. The kind where diversity makes us whole and more complete, rather than separate and different. The single life is one such category. We have this life track our culture places us on from a young age, and when people end up taking different paths either by choice or circumstances they can’t control, sometimes we’re not quite sure how […]
His Truth in our Fiction
[bl]I[/bl] sit in front of the big screen and watch a story that is fiction, but truth pierces the conversations, behaviors and relationships. It could be real. About the time the white hands serve fried chicken to the one who should have been cooking and serving, I realize I am taking fewer breaths than normal. This holding in of emotion that is welling up inside of me. Emotion that has been caught, lying dormant in my chest for some time now. The women in character – the way they laugh and interact, struggle and survive – it reminds me of the […]
When it’s not your gift
[bl]W[/bl]e call hospitality a gift. Some have it others don’t. A way of offering that some people are called to and others are not. Like teaching or preaching or healing. Here’s the problem: We’ve equated hospitality with hosting. The ability to have people in your home and serve them well is a gift. Some do this with ease, some do it because they have to, some because they feel called to. It’s an instinct for some, and for others it’s a learned way of living. And yet for others it’s awkward or exhausting or intrusive. This is what I want […]
A List of His Graces
[bl]T[/bl]oday I rise with a thankful heart. To be in the place God has me. To be with the people I love to be with. To worship with like-minded souls. To Clean a house that holds me so well. To parent children I adore. It’s one of those days where I want my eyes to capture it all. To see Him in all things. I want my mind to be clear of clutter. To think on all that he has gifted. And I want my heart to recognize this place of goodness. Because I know I won’t always be here. […]
Knock Knock
[bl]W[/bl]e pull at the door, assuming it will open. But it doesn’t. A woman inside unlocks the glass door and opens it. We close at 6, she informs us. We had missed it by a moment or two. We accept her apology and turn around to leave. Not wanting to give up, my friend says, Shouldn’t we just tell her we know what we want and we can give her the exact cash for it? Why not, I agree. It’s worth a try. We return and this time we knock. The woman unlocks the door a second time and hears […]
Preparing for the Next Season
[bl]I[/bl]t’s that time of year. We’re anticipating the coming Autumn. The heat has subsided a bit and the dark settles in sooner. Calendars are beginning to govern again, sleep schedules are shifting, and number two pencils are fully stocked at every Target and Wal-Mart. I’ve been purchasing books for discovering the Middle Ages. We have a year of art, castles, European and church history, Medieval times and Renaissance culture to look forward to. It’s also the time stores start tempting us with good sales because they know we’ll take the bait as we prepare for cooler weather. Old Navy had […]
A hard truth about hospitality
It’s not just for your friends. It’s easy to open your door for the people you’re crazy about. The people who are like you. The people who will return the favor. The people who are fun to be with. But what about everyone else? What about the family who won’t have you over because they’re embarrassed about their home…or maybe they don’t even have one. What about the couple who is hard to connect with because the husband won’t engage in conversation? What about those who seem ungrateful for the sacrifice? Or the children who don’t stop to appreciate? Favoritism […]
Holy Places
[bl]I[/bl] have a new friend on Facebook. We’ve never met, but we understand a piece of one another’s heart because our feet have both walked the orange roads of Uganda. Our eyes have seen the same poverty, our arms have held orphans, and our hearts have felt the longing to fulfill the desperate needs of a culture looking for healing and development. My new friend was expressing her deep sadness in anticipating her departure from Uganda after a few months of serving and loving among those beloved people. My heart felt a sharp pain as I read her words and recalled […]
A Must Make Summer Dessert
[bl]W[/bl]hen we bear fruit, the ways we can bless, the things we can make from it are countless. When God’s Spirit roots in us, dwells in us, and bears life in our heart and home, it carves out environments that are pleasing to others. Delightful to enter. Delicious to take part of. Be creative with the fruit you bear. Make good things of it. Strawberry Shortcake 1 qt. strawberries, chopped small ¼ c sugar In a bowl stir together chopped strawberries and sugar. It will make it’s own sauce within an hour of sitting at room temperature. Biscuits 2 c […]
When Hope Looks Foolish
[bl]I[/bl]f we’re going to the people and places Jesus went, then we will find ourselves face to face with what seems like hopeless situations. An impoverish continent of drought and famine, malnourished children, and dying parents who leave behind orphans with a grim future. An entire people group drowning in consumerism, suffering from a deep disconnection from the land, and placing false hope in treasures of the earth. Countless individuals self destructing with drugs to numb pain and escape reality. A generation of children raised in a virtual world, held captive by screens. How do you begin to help any […]
Teach us how to pray
[bl]F[/bl]or there’s a learning in how to approach the Almighty God. You might think it comes natural to the souls he created. Like the instinct to breath or suckle at birth. Or you might wonder why it’s not the first language we learn. A heart language to communicate with the one that knit us together, knows us best, loves us deep. Why is it we struggle for the words? For time? For alertness or clarity, quietness or availability? This is the relationship meant to sustain us all our days on earth. So why don’t we make the time for it? […]
I have a dream…
[bl]I[/bl] want to build a house. Not for me, not for my family. For you. For the college student that can’t afford to stay on campus. For the single mother who just had a baby. For the dear friend who needs a place that will keep her. For the stranger who needs a bed. For the friend of a friend who is in town. For the one with child who has no where to go. For the family struggling to pay bills. For the young parents who need to escape for the weekend. And I want this house to be near […]
His Story or Yours?
[bl]T[/bl]he stories God writes are better than the ones we choose or act or pen. Breathing and speaking creation into existence. Who else could think of that? A huge ark to save an intentional part of creation while he wiped the earth clean from sin and godlessness. Only the one who created it all could have done such a thing. An elderly couple giving birth to a child. Plagues that show an earthly ruler who is most powerful and just. Wandering a people through a desert to shape their faith and prepare the world for its redemptive future. Asking a […]
The Grass is Always Greener
[bl]W[/bl]e’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side. From where we stand, we can see the brown dry grass at our feet. The weeds in between the green. The uneven patches. And from where we stand, the yard next door or the missionary’s compound in her pictures or the hills of Tennessee — they look greener. Better. A place we wish we could be. Instead of here. The realities of others are often more desirable than our own. Because in our own reality the normal seems mundane, the hardships too hard, the brokenness unredeemable. It’s […]
A Hospitable Land
[bl]R[/bl]edeeming the land. That’s what we’re doing. For all of God’s creation needs redeeming. Not just us. We purchased ten and a half acres that haven’t been cared for in a long time. It was once loved and tended to. But those loving hands grew old. Where corn used to grow tall in the fields, there is now woods. Woods that have grown up over decades. From a distance, it appears as woods that have always been there. But when you get closer, when you step into the covering, you see the wooded environment for what it really is. A […]
Lemonade for Strangers
Environments of grace allow you to work together. They inspire you to create. To build, construct. Environments of grace advertise what they’re about. Through a genuine spirit of love. And mostly by example. By consuming themselves what they’re offering. And what they offer is good. Environments of grace allow you to express yourself. Wildly. Uniquely. They keep you close. Embrace you. And let you run away. Always hoping you’ll return. Be a place where strangers drive by, catch a glimpse of who you are, then turn around to receive. And be ready. Arms extended to give.
To See Like He Does
I want to see like Jesus. Not through categories and filters of learned prejudices and systems of valuing. I wish I looked at all of creation through eyes of grace, compassion, and true justice. Seeing beauty and value, rather than the flawed and imperfect. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to see colorful skin as beautiful, instead of something that segregates and values. And If only I looked at the sin of others as something that separates them from God, rather than me, I might actually take it more seriously instead of judging it or avoiding it. I […]
Refresh One Another
[bl]A[/bl]n environment of grace ought to be refreshing. Places and people that ooze with grace, leave you saying aaahhh. Like a glass of cool water. Or iced tea with a slice of lemon. Or a cold fizzy coke on a hot day. People giving grace are the people we want to be around when we’re tired, hurting, homesick — or let’s be honest – they’re the people we always want to be around. And the homes they infect with their gracious spirit are the homes we keep returning to. If what we always offer is a glass full of critique, […]
Waiting for Things to Pass
[bl]T[/bl]here’s a tension found in waiting. A pulling back and forth, a working against between stillness and restlessness. We’re not quite sure how to be in these moments. We rest, we fidget. We’re calm, we’re anxious. We hope, we doubt. Because waiting involves trusting. Trusting that the One who works all things out for his glory, will also work all things out for our good. And we’re not always convinced of this. But if we’re waiting, it means we have little control in working it out ourselves for if that was possible we wouldn’t be waiting, we’d be doing. And […]
The Church
This is the church. Not a building. Not the bricks. Nor the pews and podium. But the people. Who gather. To worship. And make statements of faith to be lived out. To celebrate new life, commitment to faith, the washing of sins This is the church. Family. People who love one another. Encourage one another, affirm and hold one another. People who grow together. Journey together. This is the church. Children of God who exist together for the purpose of giving and receiving life. We are the church. We are the place of worship. And it should pour out from […]
Traditions That Keep Us
[bl]T[/bl]raditions create a sense of place and identity, reminding us who we are and where we belong. They mark years and lay foundations of togetherness. They draw and bind us with purpose and intention. Traditions are good for family and home. These holidays, events and moments are hospitable to us. They interrupt our normal routine and invite us, welcome us to share life with one another. They don’t happen by accident. They take thought, intention and often resources, making holidays and normal life exist within memorable moments of time spent together. But they’re worth it. For the past 30 some […]
Hands
Our hands communicate. They tell a little bit about who we are, what we do, how we love. Big or small, dark or light, rough or smooth, gentle or firm. Our instinct is to take the hand of someone like us. One that looks the same. One that’s easy to hold, one that fits in ours. But when we hold hands with people who are different than us, we change, we grow, we learn. Walk with someone. Take their hand and see what you might learn.
Red
[bl]T[/bl]he color of freedom has always been red. For his blood was the beginning of breaking free. Of loosening the shackles of sin. Of life conquering death. And the way to freedom was indeed war. The battle between good and evil. The victory that came with a price. We wave our star spangled banner high, with pride. We parade around giving honor. And we celebrate the place and time we find ourselves. Our family, we do this. We participate in this tradition, this remembering. But this land of the free is not our true home. So let us not forget […]
When Your Tears Fall Like Rain
When your tears fall like rain and puddle at your feet and you’re wading in sadness and months of unspoken truth the temptation is to kick it away, hoping it will dry up on it’s own. But instead, you jump. Out, finally forming the words to speak so you won’t drown. Knowing that when you do, you will also leap right into the middle of someone else’s down pour. Hoping with humility that you’ll be able to receive their words of pain, you stand firm while they fall on you. Because you desperately want to hold tight to the one […]
Grace Not Received
[bl]Y[/bl]ou give, and it’s rejected. You offer, and it’s not received. What then? What do you do when your love and grace isn’t welcomed by others? It happens all the time in my household. One son hurts another, realizes his mistake and apologizes. But the one who got hurt rejects the I’m sorry with No you’re not! or You did it on purpose! Or, he simply won’t say the hoped for and easy response It’s okay. It’s hard to receive grace when you’re hurting. I’m never fully sure how to advise my children in these moments. I get that it’s […]
Summertime Friends and Food
[bl]C[/bl]ooking dinner for company can be intimidating. It’s no small task! No wonder most people order pizza when gathering in larger groups. We do it too, and it’s a great way to have an evening of fellowship without all the mess and clean up. But sometimes, I want to create a meal for another family. I want to serve them and provide for them something delicious, a little extra special. Because there’s just something about a thoughtful, delicious meal that creates a mood and environment for intimacy. After packing and moving and trying to settle in, we were long ready […]
A Fruitful Day
Whether it’s fruit of the earth or fruit of the Spirit Discover it. Hold it. Eat it Delight in it. Because it’s sweet. Offer it to others. And when you think you are deplete Find a friend who has some. Search together with people you love. Because fruit enjoyed within community is always sweeter. This fruit lived and shared and consumed in community, it stains. Our mouth so we speak the truth. Our hands so they are generous and gentle. Our feet, so they go to the places where people need Jesus, need us. Enjoy this season of fruit. The […]
When You’re Wanting to be Like Someone Else
[bl]T[/bl]here are many people I admire. Friends, family, even people I don’t know well who I imitate and shape my life after. But there are a few that stand out. A few that I place before me and strive toward their greatness. And I wonder if this is godly or sinful. This wanting to be like another human. This wishing my life looked more like theirs. Am I coveting? But coveting is longing for what another has. And I don’t want what they have. I want who there are. I wish their values were my values and their choices my […]
House of Pancakes
There’s just something about Saturday morning pancakes. Maybe it’s the real maple syrup. Or the butter that melts and seeps into each layer. Or how the kids get excited over something rather simple. Or maybe my love for pancakes has more to do with the memories attached with eating them. The mother who took the time to make them for her family. And search for the best recipe. And even add fresh blueberries or chopped pecans on request. Maybe it’s my memories of Saturday mornings Up North at my parent’s house — the one held in by woods. And how […]
The Essentials
[bl]A[/bl]n environment of grace must be well equipped. For messes and mistakes, for oops and oh no! For disagreement and confrontation, correction and affirmation. Death and disappointment, life and blessing. Being a giver of grace isn’t easy, so we must ready ourselves, be equipped and stock up on all that is helpful to making ourselves better conduits of this life giving resource. Here’s my list of essentials. The must haves for creating and being an environment of grace. #1 Degreaser [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Degreaser-e1308107832584.jpg”][/lightbox] And all the best of laundry cleaners. These are must haves for the grace seeking mother! So we […]
Uninvited Guests
[bl]M[/bl]ost of us are able to avoid unsafe situations if we have the money and resources to place ourselves in particular environments. Towns further from the city. Suburban neighborhoods. Schools that are not as diverse. Homes that lock us in and keep trouble out. But what if you don’t have the resources to live in these types of environments? What if you were born into a much different place? Or choices and circumstances out of your control have limited your options of where to live? What then? These people want to feel the same level of comfort and safety that […]
A Posture of Hospitality
40 miles on his 40th birthday. A number set apart by God as significant. 40 days of rain, 40 days on a mountain, 40 years of wandering, 40 days of fasting – all associated with periods of probation or testing. 40 miles of running — an incredible goal, a trial, a journey he won’t forget. The 40 mile part is impressive on its own. But what was really amazing is how my friend Andy made his personal goal a community effort and blessing. Andy asked several of his close friends and family to journey with him, to run 4 mile […]
Grace in the In-Between Places
[bl]T[/bl]here are places that take you from here to there. The places in between where you’re leaving, and where you’re going. The unknown places where you’re searching, understanding, discovering, grieving, exploring, resting, anticipating. These places are bittersweet. They can taste of insecurity and loneliness. Or fear and unknowing. Sorrow and doubt. Anxiety with deep excitement. Complacency and fatigue. Hope and longing. Even pain and suffering. But when you depart from this in between place and you finally enter into your new reality – a new way of living — a seed of appreciation takes root. And you become thankful for […]
Our Books that Tell Our Story
[bl]T[/bl]he books in our home tell our story. The words we’ve read, the pages we’ve flipped and turned down and noted – they speak to us, about us. If you didn’t know our family, you would learn about choices we’ve made, intentional lifestyles, places we’ve been, people we love, habits and interests – just by glancing through our bookshelves. The books tell our story because either we’ve purchased books to reinforce already adopted ideas, or the books we find ourselves reading introduce new values that eventually become apart of who we are. These books, they tell where we’ve journeyed. The […]
A Girl Named Katie
[bl]T[/bl]oday I share with you the words of my hospitable friend. A friend who is an environment of grace. Who knows how to welcome and invite people into her home, into her heart. Her life is a story that points to God’s story. And I’m excited to introduce you to her. Her name is Katie. She lives in Jinja, Uganda, the place God called her to love like Jesus. She arrived while our family was living there. She is a young twenty something who lives like a wise woman who finally gets what life is about. People. Faith. Love. Service. […]
It Rained. I Poured.
[bl]T[/bl]he sun hidden by clouds, my positive attitude hidden by discouragement. Rain poured from the sky, complaints poured from my mouth. This was the week we moved, and this was the week it rained every. single. day. I was set up to fail…or, missed an opportunity to rise above. The husband I love to be with is either in the other car or at the other house. All five children in tow for my tasks because Mark’s seem more urgent. We’re doing renovation to one house, while closing and packing up another. And suddenly time has run out and even […]
What Makes a House a Home
[bl]I[/bl]t’s not the paint. But I sure love to surround myself with color. It’s not the furniture. But the wood piece we call The Moses is super special to me. It’s not the kitchen. Though I can’t wait to organize the room I frequent the most. It’s not even the beds. But ours are cozy with feathers and down. It’s not the framed pictures, though I love filling my rooms with the faces of people I love. It’s not the big comfortable couch. But I can’t wait to pile on it for family movie night. What makes a house a […]
Everyday the World Ends
[bl]H[/bl]is predictions were wrong. No one was left behind because we all remain. Remain to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. And even though the world didn’t end for all people, it has for some. Tornadoes touched, and the whole world of a city lies in ruin. What’s left behind is rubble, death, loss. A gun shot in Texas buried the world of a family and what’s left behind is grief, emptiness, and unending questions of sorrow. And we can only hope in confidence that God will rapture the hearts of those hurting. That he will take them […]
Environment of Chaos
Boxes stacked. Cabinets and closets mostly empty. A kitchen that doesn’t serve. Clean laundry waiting for hands to fold and put away. Children under foot. Bedrooms disbanded. Rain interrupting. Husband and wife going in different directions to the same place. And the heavy weight of having too much stuff. This is not the kind of environment that encourages grace. It’s more likely to produce bickering, impatience, disconnect, and anger. And I, for one, stand guilty today. Of all of it! Guilty of letting my environment negatively influence my responses and behavior. We are affected by our environments. They have the […]
My Favorite Cleaner
[bl]T[/bl]oday I share a recipe for my all time favorite cleaning solution. It is especially great for windows and mirrors – in my opinion the best solution around! But I also use it on counters in my kitchen and bathrooms. You can find the recipe online, but I got it from my sister and teacher of how to keep a clean house. The recipe makes a gallon of solution to be divided into several empty cleaning bottles. After you get used to the proportions, you should be able to make smaller amounts, even wing the ingredients for one small bottle. […]
Environments of Grace Don’t Expect
[bl]I[/bl] made the statement in my last post that lowering expectations is essential to being and creating environments of grace. I want to be clear what I mean by this. I believe expectations create disappointment and failure. Whether you place them upon yourself or others, expectations foster an environment of pressure that often leads to unmet goals and discouragement in the reality. But a friend raises the question How do we reconcile becoming more like Christ – becoming holy as he is holy – with lowering expectations in order to be more gracious? Good question. Christians are called to strive […]
Houses Speak
…because we fill our homes with our spirit. The email went like this: Okay, so don’t roll your eyes or panic or get frustrated…..I found a house I want to look at. I said don’t roll your eyes. We were worlds apart. Mark in Africa, me in Michigan. But our hearts were comforted knowing we journeyed the same road of transition. Six months prior we had moved home. Home from what had become home. We had been away for four years. Long enough for a move home to initiate a time of struggling, a season of reinterpreting. We moved back […]
The One Who Receives Life, Will Be Filled
[bl]E[/bl]leven years ago today, I welcomed a child into our home, into our family. It’s all the years that followed that are teaching me how to receive life. This learning how to let someone take from me, and trusting that God will fill me. At the heart of hospitality is exhaustion. Emptiness. Because receiving life means giving yours. Which is why, more than anything else, children have prepared me for a life of hospitality — a heart that welcomes, a spirit that invites, and a life that is interruptible. For these children, they enter. They take. They interrupt. And there […]
A Charlotte’s Web Devotional
[bl]W[/bl]ords I hate to hear: I’m bored. We live in a time and place where children have more toys and games and things to watch on TV than ever before. And they’re bored? And don’t you dare speak these words when I’m stepping over a pile of laundry to get to the oven to see if dinner is ready. There are many days I wish I was bored! My children should know better. They’ve lived in a place where children make toys out of wire clothes hangers and bottle caps. They make soccer balls out of bags and ropes or […]
Let Us Grow
[bl]F[/bl]or Mother’s Day I received a basket of herbs. Fresh mint, basil, rosemary, thyme, oregano and cilantro. I will set this basket in the sun and let it grow, watch it overflow it’s wicker container. And I will pick from it to season, to enhance taste, to make delicious. Mark knows I want to be a mother that grows. But what I really want to grow is children. Grow them to love the Lord, to respect others, to engage people, to participate in God’s redemptive mission. What I really want to grow is love. Love rooted in Christ. Genuine love […]
Living Spaces: Hospitality Redefined
[bl]I[/bl]n a time and culture where dining predominately occurs in restaurants and busy schedules keep people on the run, houses have become showrooms of style and a place where families put up their feet at the end of the day. Long gone are the days when the majority of families regularly gather around a table to share a home cooked meal and engage in conversation. There’s soccer at 5, gymnastics at 6 and I can’t help but wonder if the people who schedule things like this eat dinner. Or have a family. I can remember my Grandma in a robe […]
The Only Time I Really Have is Now
[bl]O[/bl]ur family often discusses the possibility of more children. Our hearts desire to receive life into our family and home, however this looks. But we have one child that is not in favor of increasing our number. We’ve known this for a while. In fact, she wasn’t in favor of child number four….or five. But she loves them silly. Today, this child number three was able to verbalize why. Without shame, she admits she believes I would pay more attention to a new baby than I would to her. I draw her close. Do I do that now? I ask. […]
Our Response Matters
[bl]S[/bl]ome will rejoice. Some will sigh. Some will rest easier. Some will fear. Some will cry. Some will protest. Some will mourn. Some will seek revenge. Some will call upon the grace of God. Some will get to go home. I will not judge the response of others. For I am far removed from the pain and injustice brought about by the sin of the man who no longer walks in his wicked ways. I simply want to remind those who follow Jesus that we are called to respond differently than the rest of the world. We are called to […]
The Smell of Hospitality
For me, it’s onions frying. When I smell the sweet odor of onions frying in oil with tomatoes and curry, I know a meal is about to be shared. A good meal. One that includes cabbage or beans, pork or chicken, rice or posho. And to me, it’s the smell of hospitality. A meal shared between friends and maybe even strangers. I have eaten this meal in a mud hut. Outside on a bench. With a fork. In a church building. With bare hands. At the Source Café. Around my table in Jinja. At my teammates’ homes. With Tom in […]
It’s Here!
The chill is gone. Flowers are blooming. Children are smiling. And climbing. The trees are budding. The skies are blue. And preparing to storm. Spring. It’s here! It’s finally here. God never keeps us in winter. Spring always comes.
The Resurrected Life
[bl]T[/bl]he crucified Jesus calls us to a life of dying. Dying to anything that doesn’t lead us into righteousness. Anything that doesn’t glorify God. When we take up our cross and follow Jesus – I mean when we really follow Jesus – we will experience death. Death of expectations. Of social habits. Big girl dreams. Cultural practices. Selfish desires. Practical decisions. Responsible choices. Death is certain, because we can’t follow Jesus where he’s going, while traveling the same path we’ve been walking. I remember the pain of these first deaths. I remember fighting it, resenting it, looking back and longing […]
Stained
Our family gathered with the Stockmans for a spontaneous evening of coloring eggs. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter8-e1303525994420.jpg”][/lightbox] [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter7-e1303525951472.jpg”][/lightbox] Children, eager to help, to hold. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter5-e1303570033490.jpg”][/lightbox] [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter4-e1303525774520.jpg”][/lightbox] [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter6-e1303525885171.jpg”][/lightbox] These soft white eggs are gently wrapped in colored silk and immersed in water and vinegar. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter3-e1303525711850.jpg”][/lightbox] Funny how this Easter tradition of dying eggs involves vinegar. For it was vinegar that last touched the lips of a dying Jesus. Stained. Beautiful! [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter2-e1303525684210.jpg”][/lightbox] [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Easter1-e1303525593431.jpg”][/lightbox] And so are we. Stained. Marked by the blood that covers our sin, and gives us life. Stained. Gently wrapped in grace, immersed in […]
A Victorious People
[bl]F[/bl]or so long I thought the point of being a Christian was to go to Heaven. That Heaven was the goal, the Promised Land waiting for those who believe. And the way I live on Earth mattered because it determined my entering of this place where God is present. But as I read the story of God’s chosen people, I know that God is present in this place where we walk with feet of flesh. And his promised lands of freedom are possible now. That how we live and relate now doesn’t just determine our future, it becomes our present […]
When Little Hands are Fighting
[bl]W[/bl]e’ve been invaded. By a virus that has lingered and sucked the energy right out of us. And by fear, an even worse enemy that sucks you of everything, stops you right in your tracks, and keeps you from living. Advil has helped. Wine has numbed. But only true healing comes from The Healer himself. Though I’ve had to sit at his feet and wait, God has been faithful to give me words of encouragement that calm my spirit and remind me that healing is near. Our days of illness were filled with a lot of quiet. Not the quiet […]
A People on a Journey
[bl]W[/bl]andering. This verb implies lack of direction and intention. Aimless traveling. An interesting word choice to describe the desert journey of a people being led by their Creator. But remember, the story of God is told by people. These chosen and delivered people. It’s their stories – their God inspired words – that we read. And they must have felt like they were wandering. As if God had rescued them from one unfortunate reality and placed them in another. Hunger hardly seems like freedom. A place deplete of resources can’t be the route to a promised land of milk and […]
On Earth as it is in Heaven
[bl]I[/bl]n our Lenten silence, I sit among my young and can’t help but know that my sin is so much uglier than theirs. The fear. The selfishness. The wastefulness. The pride. The unavailability. The practical over faithful. The discontentment. My long list of sin hinders me. Keeps me from understanding. Prevents me from living faithfully… …but then there’s the cross. This rugged piece of wood that holds a man and my sin. And all things become possible. In my brokenness, the life giving death of Jesus makes it possible for me to be whole. To live whole. We say that […]
He Always Gives
[bl]O[/bl]h, I want so badly to share a different list today. You know, the one that’s easier to make. The one whose shameful tally far exceeds 1,000. The one that propels me toward fear and resentment, rather than faith and gratitude. The gifts were not counted and the grace was not noticed. By me. And so I’m humbled that at the very end of the week, he gives me a moment. One moment of grace. But in this single moment there is much to be thankful. #101 Sitting alone, #102 though with Christ I am never #103 The strong breeze […]
A Delivered People
[bl]I[/bl]n the quiet, our eyes are on the cross. And I can’t help but think of my sin. Our sin. The reason for the cross. And I find myself once again in the story of Israel. Like Israel, we are a people who live in bondage. To media, food, sexual desires, power, work, money. We are held captive by the things that feed the flesh. It was their stomachs – a genuine need for food – that led the Israelites to Egypt. What if Jacob’s family had trusted in the Lord to provide for them during the drought in Canaan? […]
See With Me
[bl]I[/bl]n the quiet, I’ve been remembering the Jesus I witnessed in Africa. The God that suddenly got bigger. I’m recalling images that were new to me, that reflected a more truthful God. See with me as I share these vibrant, living, truthful images that forever changed my understanding of the God I serve. A God who embraces and empowers women. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Embraces-e1302030428137.jpg”][/lightbox] A God that doesn’t contain his creation. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Leopard-e1302030534721.jpg”][/lightbox] A God who births new life in a family seeking to serve Him. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Birth-e1302030284113.jpg”][/lightbox] A God faithful to his promises, especially on unknown roads. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/IMG_3273-e1302064607990.jpg”][/lightbox] A God […]
Moments of Asking
[bl]L[/bl]uke shuffles into our room, unable to sleep. I half sigh, half smile. When I take my mother apron off at the end of the day, I look forward to my treasured time with Mark. We cling to those late night moments of togetherness. So, it can be frustrating when all the children are restless and unable to find sleep. But, when it’s a single child who is held awake by thoughts or dreams or fears, Mark and I enjoy the rare opportunity to focus our love on just one. Luke crawls between us in our bed and we begin […]
Weekend Feet
[bl]W[/bl]ant to know what I’m most excited about for Spring? To see these. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Toes1-1049-e1301775050491.jpg”][/lightbox] And these. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Toes2-1043-e1301775112923.jpg”][/lightbox] I miss their toes, cute little legs and arms. All the skin hidden by keeping warm. But we’re about to unveil. To remove socks and expose elbows — I can feel it in the air. The last of Winter. The arrival of Spring. We’re ready! Blessings on this weekend as you continue to anticipate the cross of Easter. As you rest. Play! As you welcome a new baby (Yay Brazles!). As you welcome guests for dinner or enter the homes of […]
A Chosen People
[bl]A[/bl]t a particular time, in a particular place, God chooses a particular people in which to tell his story. This story of a faithful Holy God in a convent relationship with an adulterous people is the living account of Israel. And it’s a story that gives us hope — because it’s our story too. In anticipation of the Passover holiday in April – the remembering of when God passed over the homes of his people and spared their firstborn – I will be recalling the faith story of Israel through a series of posts, encouraging us to find ourselves in […]
Cross Shaped Words
[bl]W[/bl]e entered into the quiet yesterday after a long weekend of noise. I’m sure my children weren’t any noisier than normal, but Mark was out of town and somehow everything is magnified when he’s away. The days are longer, the screams seem louder, and the arguing is more often. And I’m pretty sure my ability to tolerate is reduced. I was louder too. So at the end of the weekend, stepping into the quiet together is something we all longed for. We chose to sit on one bed today. Quite risky at 10pm. Sleep was bound to be victorious in […]
Trips to the Well
[bl]E[/bl]ating primarily raw foods is surprisingly satisfying. I’ve been blending fruits and vegetables to make smoothies, snacking on nuts, seeds and dried fruit, and drinking carrot juice. If it sounds freakishly healthy, that’s because it is! This living food is sustaining me through these days of Lent, as I consider Jesus – his life giving, life receiving, life producing death and resurrection. Yesterday I sent a text to my dear friend. She also is keeping it raw – seeking Jesus as she envisions new ways of living and relating as a family. I’m so thankful for the way we are […]
Shaping Grateful Hearts
[bl]O[/bl]n Sundays, our family is gathering together and considering ways we can become better stewards. We live in abundance. Some is the fruit of our labor; much more has simply been given to us. And we consider it all a gift from God. These conversations were inspired by the lack of gratefulness in our children. They are slow to help, slow to share, and slow to appreciate. These selfish instincts are expected in the young, but Mark and I desperately want to shape in our children grateful hearts that lead them into generous and fruitful living. Africa revealed that our […]
Confession Time!
[bl]S[/bl]o, we failed to step into the quiet for two days this week. It’s only 17 minutes of our day and we just couldn’t do it. And it’s not like we totally forgot. We actually remembered throughout the day and simply chose to spend our time differently. It takes more effort than you might think. This giving up, walking away and choosing to sit. In addition, I’ve unintentionally and intentionally eaten food that isn’t raw. The unintentional times don’t surprise me. I’m in the habit of eating without thinking. Actually, I have many habits of the flesh I do without […]
Living Through Dying
[bl]I[/bl]f my image of Jesus changes and I stay the same, it would mean I wasn’t following him. Walking in his lead, in the places he’s going. A new image of Jesus demands a response. I continue in the gospel story of Mark with the hope of understanding how a suffering Jesus calls his followers into uncomfortable places. Enter the story again with me. After Jesus rebukes Peter, he calls together a crowd and begins to explain what it really means to follow him. If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and […]
A Suffering Jesus
[bl]A[/bl]s I approach Jesus in the quiet my hope is to hear him and see him in new and more truthful ways. We all have ideas and images of who Jesus is and what he came to do — inherited from family and religious communities, shaped and distorted by particular influences and experiences, and honed by God. It’s difficult to step outside of these preconceived ideas – some truthful, some not. But I want to know him. To see him for who he really is. So I open the gospels. For here, living and breathing in these words is his […]
A Gift from the Quiet
[bl]I[/bl]n the quiet we’ve been sitting. Together in the same room, no talking, simply being. Some close their eyes, some keep them open, and at different times we look at the wooden cross hung on our mantel. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/cross-e1299820224526.jpg”][/lightbox] Even Tessa participates, though her three-year old energy is bursting through the silence wanting so badly to speak or move. Fifteen minutes must be longer in silence than in activity. For it feels like more than just a moment in our day. Day one, the children notice what they must leave in order to join the quiet – the computer, a […]
Keeping it Raw
[bl]W[/bl]e like our blond haired, gentle Jesus. The one we’ve created in the image we think he ought to be and look and act. Jesus is perfect, this we know. But our human minds and hearts struggle to capture perfect in the form of a man. What does that look like? So in our naivety we sketch the white skinned, long haired Jesus that famously is printed in all the childrens Bibles. And the Jesus we like to identify with and tell people about is the ever loving, full of grace, resurrected Jesus who also “died on the cross for […]
I Think of Her
[bl]O[/bl]n International Women’s Day I think of her. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Jessica-e1299601417682.jpg”][/lightbox] And her. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Bonnie-e1299600690370.jpg”][/lightbox] And her. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Tape-e1299600949479.jpg”][/lightbox] I remember her. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Harriet-e1299600815988.jpg”][/lightbox] And her. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Janet-e1299600894935.jpg”][/lightbox] And them. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ida-e1299601344339.jpg”][/lightbox] And her. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Zipporah-e1299601294850.jpg”][/lightbox] And each of them. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Womens-Conference-e1299601279738.jpg”][/lightbox] These women who serve their husbands. Carry children in their womb, on their back. Dig in their gardens. Cook day after day. They have inspired me. These women who struggle. Get dirty. Don’t complain. Lose children. Get sick. They have encouraged me. These women who are strong. Who rise above. Who keep trying. They have taught me. These women […]
Embracing More
[bl]I[/bl]t’s quiet in my house. So quiet. The children are sleeping, Mark is snowplowing and I am sitting in bed just listening to the silence. It’s almost unsettling. Because rare is the moment I actually hear nothing. I don’t even know what to do! I’m tempted to make a late night snack and relish in the moment of eating something yummy without having to share. I’m tempted to tune out and watch River Cottage, a BBC TV show that Mark and I enjoy together. I’m tempted to pick up a book and get lost in someone else’s story. All options […]
8 and Full of Grace
[bl]L[/bl]ydia Jane is 8! We couldn’t have known then everything she would do. She would expand our family, our hearts. We would no longer be the same. She would spend her first year of life in Guatemala, growing and resting in love. She would spend her second year in bows, in America. Her beauty would capture the eyes of strangers, and we would tell them about the One who grafts us into his tree, roots us in his love. The true Father of adoption. Her golden skin would color our world, her golden spirit would brighten our life. She would […]
True Fasting
[bl]T[/bl]he days of Lent are drawing near. Forty days of fasting as we anticipate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For those of us who didn’t grow up with this Lenten practice, we tend to interpret this time of fasting as simply “giving something up.” We choose something we really like, and do without it for 40 days. And maybe, just maybe we pray a little bit more because our giving up reminds us to. But surely there’s more to it. Surely, we fail to really understand the purpose and significance of this practice and tradition. I do not […]
Real Thankfulness
[bl]I[/bl]t’s easy to be thankful when the sun is out. Our human lips speak circumstantial praise, often concerning things of the flesh, and focused on the provisions of God that appear good. But what about the things that don’t appear good? What about the times that are difficult? Trying? Life taking? How do we say thank you when our children die? Or when love deserts us? Or we lose our job….and house…and savings? What does thankfulness look like when you have to give birth and raise your children without the one on earth who loves you best? When sickness fills […]
Monday’s post on Friday
[bl]M[/bl]y little Tessa has thrown up over 25 times today (Thursday). She’s the third child to get the stomach virus this week. My welcome home gift. Monday’s post of thankfulness never happened because I was traveling. I need it today. Fast. This sweet girl has gracious received her first stomach sickness. She has laid on the couch, all pale and pitiful. Asking how the other sick ones in the household are doing. Claiming that the vomiting is “hurting her feelings.” And whispering funny little comments like, “This popsicle is good. Seriously, it’s furlicious.” All while throwing up every 30-40 minutes. […]
All My Favorite People are Broken
[bl]I[/bl] got a taste of Africa in America. And it was good! Lydia Jane and I traveled to Tulsa, Oklahoma to visit dear friends that lived near us in Jinja. They arrived to Uganda ten months before we moved away — a parting gift from God. Neighbors, playmates, dinner partners and friends. The Palmers brought companionship to our last months. And though our time together was short, the heart connection was strong. Michelle with her poetic, pensive spirit. Me with my creative energy. We are harmonious together. Our chord is genuine, our melody joyful, our song truthful. She’s my apron […]
Meltdown
50 degrees in mid February? Thank you Jesus! It’s so refreshing to walk outside and breath in warmer air. I know other places are enjoying 60, even 70 degree weather, but we Michiganders will take what we can get. We need this to make it through the rest of winter. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0719-e1297976765891.jpg”][/lightbox] I look out the window. The once fluffy white snow melts into the ground and makes a soggy mess. The dog tracks in mud, the kids track in mud. And the picture out my window is bleak. Meltdowns. They are welcomed…but they are never pretty! [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0728-e1297976966531.jpg”][/lightbox] We […]
Keep on Lovin’
[lightbox href href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0707-2-e1297869121457.jpg”][lightbox] [bl]A[/bl]nd we continue to love… Every day we love. Not because we are obligated. Or rewarded. Because we were created by Love and for love. Because the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Because love is the fulfillment of the law. Because the fruit of the Spirit is love. Because perfect love drives out fear. Because love is as strong as death. Because in love a throne will be established. Because love builds up. Because love covers a multitude of sin. We love. Not because we are asked to. Because we are called […]
Multitudes on Mondays
[bl]O[/bl]n Mondays, I’m going to be joining Ann Voskamp in her commitment to “slow down and taste life, give thanks, and see God.” Ann is the author of One Thousand Gifts and writes everyday at aholyexperience.com. In her practice of continually giving thanks, she has experienced the presence of God in the every day little and big things of life. And God has multiplied her joy and her experience of this holy life. Ann makes a continual list of the things she is thankful for, and is encouraging others to join her. She is leading people into a life of […]
A Faithful Lover
[lightbox href href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0669-e1297282166827.jpg”][/lightbox] Two hearts unequally yoked. Long has been the journey of an unfaithful people and a faithful God. He always knew they would leave him. We would leave him. Oh faithful God, we are humbled by your compassion. By your steadfast love. We will never know a more faithful lover than you. This is Love… When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. It was I who […]
God’s Love and Ours: 1 John 4 (Part 2)
[bl]D[/bl]ear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. Sounds easy! Love one another. So why is it so hard? Why is it that our love comes out awkward or ill timed? Why do we pass up opportunities to show love but we’re quick to pass judgment? And why do we hide our love with pride and selfishness? Why is it that all day long I plan to greet my husband with kind, gentle, I’m-so-glad-to-see-you words when he walks through the door from work….but instead I spew at him all the frustrating things the children […]
God’s Love and Ours: 1 John 4 (part 1)
[bl]D[/bl]ear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0658-e1297281869775.jpg”][/lightbox] Our most genuine efforts of love don’t necessarily come on Valentine’s Day. But still, it’s a time when the world acknowledges love. Images of love and romance throughout our towns, all red and pink. We make heart shape cookies and trade love notes. We created to love humans welcome all gestures of love, even the superficial, and especially the ones covered in chocolate! [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0612-e1297275996332.jpg”][/lightbox] A world trying to love. Imperfect love shared between imperfect people. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows […]
A Season of Dying
[bl]L[/bl]arge flakes of snow swirling and falling. Blowing and gathering. The barren winter earth covered in a thick blanket of white. Pine tipped with snow, green peaking through. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0524-e1296707403752.jpg”][/lightbox] Deciduous trees, otherwise bleak and brown, made pretty by the snow gathered in their crevices. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0518-e1296747559464.jpg”][/lightbox] And when the ice hangs on and the sun shines in just the right way, it’s stunning. Children with rosy noses and cheeks. Footprints of play. Giggles on sleds. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/20081201-004-e1296763789786.jpg”][/lightbox] Sweet hands cupping hot cocoa to warm their fingertips, to warm their body. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0561-e1296758773565.jpg”][/lightbox] I sometimes forget that these beautiful winter […]
Our Maine Environment
[bl]A[/bl]fter weeks of sickness and pushing through the darkness to find the light, we finally receive our reward. Two friends who share a birthday. Just two days apart…and ten years. We dropped off 7 children to spend the weekend with Aunts and Grandparents. Met at the airport with handsome husbands in the lead and only one darling baby to keep us from forgetting who we really are – parents. We depart for Maine, and the lovely Kismet Inn. [lightbox href=”http://environmentsofgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_7236-Version-2-e1296667813592.jpg”][/lightbox] From the dead, bleak, cold of winter we enter into Shadi’s home. A home of life, color and warmth (which […]
Day 7: Come, Eat and Drink
Day seven. God is always faithful to his promise. Always. I stand on the other side of victory, humbled and joyful to have witnessed God’s presence. Unexpected opposition, but my friend she stood weak and let the strength of God consume her. She didn’t just survive. She was victorious! And the glory goes to the One who carried her through. I am amazed how God numbered these days of my fast. And timed them to perfectly meet my friend at the battle line. His plan was different than mine. I had intended to fast for eight days, praying one day […]
Day 6: A Promised Victory
Day six: I love when my fast takes a detour. When God impresses upon my heart someone to pray for, someone different than those I intended to. It reminds me that God is ever present. Listening. Prompting. Interceding. It’s been a hard day. My body is weak. But my spirit persists in prayer for a friend in battle. The enemy is strong. And the friend feels unprepared to face it. Not yet. When I’m stronger. When there aren’t so many things working against me. I agree. I would never send her into battle unprepared. But…“As the heavens are higher than […]
Day 5: Body and Spirit
Day Five. I’ve learned to embrace the physical benefits of fasting. After the first few days, I usually feel amazing. Strong, clean and empowered. I’ve been making a distinction between flesh and spirit as I share this journey. God makes this distinction in his word, and it’s wise to understand how the flesh works against the spirit. However, I believe our God created beings are whole. The body and spirit as one. Our spiritual beings are physical, mental and emotional. And though we speak of them separately, they are really one. They are all a part of the spiritual. Our […]
Day 4: More Alive
Day four. The hunger is leaving me. From this point on the not eating gets easier. The body is adjusting to the lack of intake and it starts being okay with it. But oh the cravings! You see it’s not your stomach that craves, it’s your mind. And definitely your eyes. As you deny your flesh fulfillment, your spiritual being becomes more alive. This is the hardest part. Confronting our spiritual beings is scary – all the emotional, relational, mental experiences that we’re not sure how to deal with. Often, we numb the spirit by feeding the flesh. So when […]
Day 3: Real Food
Day three. The breath is almost unbearable! The odors are strong. The body begins to flush itself. And like the day when I was buried in water at eleven years old, I step into the shower and let the water wash away that which is toxic to my body. Clean and forgiven. Thank you, Jesus. My hungry mind keeps thinking of Bravo’s cheesecake. I haven’t eaten in three days and that’s what I want? Why do I seek false satisfaction? What I consume matters. Why don’t I live by that truth? In a culture of consumerism we have anything and […]
Day 2: God Will Sustain Me
Day two is hard. Growling stomach, growling mother. For the first time in the six years I have doubts that I won’t endure the week. Maybe it’s the recent illness and my body is weaker than normal. I am flesh and bones. But I’m mostly spirit. So I reach back on fasts of the past and cling to truths given me by the One Who Sustains me. I recall the Israelites. An entire people group delivered by God and led into the desert. It’s not mere geography that determines the place of freedom for this holy people. God takes them […]
A Fast Beginning
[bl]A[/bl] new year begins, and with it we promise and hope. We dream and discern. We begin fresh. Anything can happen! Yet as the days push us forward we sill work, we still school, we still clean our houses. And like the previous year, our children grow quicker than we’d like and time seems to slow and speed at intervals we can’t explain. And in these normal days, we still endure hours of sadness and rejoice in moments of triumph. And it’s the little everyday things that sustain us. Truly, not a whole lot changes about the days of a […]