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When Your Resurrection Hasn’t Come Yet

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Don’t lose hope. For God’s story never changes. It’s always one of life after death. But maybe you feel like you perpetually live on a Good Friday – where there’s struggle and surrender — a day we can only name Good in hindsight, in the knowing of what was to follow. Or maybe you have lived a long time in the day after. Where there’s grieving for what was and waiting for what is to come. And it never seems like Sunday will come. It never feels like the grave will go empty. For you, who longs to live life […]

Praying to Trust You Today

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Some surrenders are harder than others. Like this one. I made myself vulnerable to you. Decided to trust you in something that’s always felt safer to control myself. Oh, I’m sure to others it looks as if I’ve handed this over to you. And in many ways I have. I’ve prayed, I’ve listened, I’ve discerned, I’ve acted. All in genuine faith. All with a desire to invite you into what is already divine. Kind of funny, I guess. But I’ve never been comfortable completely surrendering this sacred part of me. Yet, you knit me together, you know me better than […]

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an act of vulnerability

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Surrender is the word I’m praying through this year. To live more committed to this arms raised, palms out posture to life, there’s a searching of my soul and a seeking of my Father. I want to know what it is I need to surrender, what I might need to die to or give up in order to live more faithful to His purposes. I’m good at clinging tight to what I like. I actually think I have really good ideas, so what’s the harm in living them out, right? Well, let me tell you something….Africa was not my good idea. […]

surrender

To Disarm {Myself}

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I’ve named 2013 A Year of Surrender. Choosing the ways of God, more than my own. Choosing less in the flesh, and more in the Spirit. Moving away from instinct, and toward discerned living. I want to learn how to surrender to love. For my husband, for my children, for those who have not. I want to learn how to submit to the needs of others. To a future that I cannot anticipate. To the hope that in all things God intends to make me more like him. Surrender is not something I’m good at. It’s not something my country […]

A Year of Surrender

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It’s difficult to anticipate a holy God. Because his ways are so different than our ways. We want higher, he wants humble. We want fast, he wants eternal. We want an easy destination, he wants a holy journey. We want to fix, he wants to redeem. We want perfection, he wants a genuine heart. We want for us what we think is right, he wants for us what he knows is good. My pray for this coming year is that I abandon more of my ways and embrace more of His. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, […]

Praying Surrender Today

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It’s been easy to trust until now. There’s been distance and unknowing. Like a story you’re writing and I’m telling about someone else. But now my eyes have seen. My arms have held. And this changes everything. I know myself. My flesh will try to protect my heart with guard. My mind will wonder and doubt. My spirit will cling (maybe too tight) to the story. You know better than I how I like things my way. How I’d rather fail myself than for others to disappoint me. How I hold tight to what defines me and resent what challenges […]

The Resurrected Life

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The sun rises on a new day. A day of rejoicing. I’m excited to leave the cross, even though I know it comes with us. Though it doesn’t define who we are, it shapes our every day. For the crucified Jesus doesn’t call us to a moment of dying, but a life of surrender. Dying to anything that doesn’t lead us into righteousness. Anything that doesn’t glorify God. When we take up our cross and follow Jesus – I mean when we really follow Jesus – we will experience death. Death of expectations. Of social habits. Big girl dreams. Cultural […]