Environments of grace. Isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t it what we need? But more often we find ourselves critiqued. Our behavior, appearance and choices evaluated. Our performance measured. Our intentions judged. By peers, employers, and neighbors. By the expectations of our culture, and the perfection projected in magazines. Even by friends and family. And most often (and most destructive), by ourselves. Environments of judgment stifle us. Our insecurities dominate. We make mistakes. We don’t grow. We don’t learn. We look for escape. We seek self-improvement. And we’re never enough.
Jesus is a different kind of environment. He is where people are welcomed. Fed. Healed. Touched. Forgiven. Blessed. He is where people belong. Grow. Learn. Change. Thrive. Live! He is an environment of grace. It oozes from his love, seeping into our crevices that are dirty, embarrassing, and unattractive. It suffocates our unworthiness and breathes life into our spirit – the very spirit of God.
As the body of Christ, we become the dwelling place for God’s spirit. His temple. We are the environment for his grace to manifest within the world God’s redemptive love. Our homes, our families, our conversations. Our very beings. All environments of grace.
This virtual dwelling welcomes God’s Spirit to grace the words and images communicated.
All Our Words Belong To Him
I felt Him whisper it to me back in December. A word that slipped in and out of my thoughts. I tucked it away until January, the time I set aside each year to fast and pray for the coming months. As my hunger set in, I asked the Lord to confirm the word I couldn’t seem to shrug off. To be honest, the word scares me a little bit. Not in the way “surrender” did a few years ago. Whew, that one really pressed in hard. With hands stretch out, I gave over to the Lord areas of my life […]
You Can Always Come Home
Over the past several months I’ve looked back longingly on those exhausting nights of waking children and all those witching hours when one boy would be hanging at my ankles whining, and the littlest would be needing a diaper change, and the oldest was clearly responding out of low blood sugar craziness. Without me even realizing it, those days were in my past. I put a sweet toddler down for a nap one day not realizing it would be the last daytime tuck in. And somewhere along the line, I took my final middle of the night groggy walk up […]
He will Come
After a national chorus of gratitude, it’s no wonder we begin a season of expecting life. For thankfulness births good things. Today marks the beginning of Advent, the time set a part to anticipate the arrival of a baby that belongs to the whole world. The One born of flesh, but equal with God. The One who was rejected, yet welcomed all of creation. The One who came with wholeness to a broken world who needed Him. This baby was God coming to his people to bring them back to Himself. The days leading up to His birth demand our attention. They ought […]
Sanded Through
A few years ago I purchased a piece of furniture on Craigslist for $20. It’s a classic colonial dark pine buffet and hutch, something similar to what my mother had in our dining room in the 1980s. As I sanded by hand every inch and crevice, exposing new surface and leaving some old, I considered how even our furniture can reflect a little bit of who we are. We are a people continually being made new. By the very hands of our Creator who makes us more like him. By the experiences that round out our edges. By the people who […]
I Had a Baby in Africa
On their special day, we lay in bed and tell their birth story, almost as if we’ve never heard it before. We remember the same details and giggle at the same parts. Our Tessa has a special story. It’s one we recall with such fondness because so many of us actually remember it. We experienced her as a family, in a place where we had learned to cling to one another, and the memories are every bit sweet. Having a baby in Uganda was never on my bucket list, but I’m so glad it was on the one God wrote for me. My prior […]
This Two Becoming One
Sex is an act of hospitality – the giving of oneself and the receiving of another. In our sex craved culture where people are objectified, where pleasure is something easier achieved by yourself, and pornography is rampant and acceptable as television humor, it’s easy to forget just how intimate and divine the coming together of two bodies really is. When I married, no one told me sex would reveal some of my heart issues. I had no idea it would be a source of conflict in my very happy and satisfying marriage. I did not anticipate the reality that babies […]
When It’s Not Your Gift
We call hospitality a gift. Some have it others don’t. A way of offering that some people are called to and others are not. Like teaching or preaching or healing. Here’s the problem: We’ve equated hospitality with hosting. The ability to have people in your home and serve them well is a gift. Some do this with ease, some do it because they have to, some because they feel called to. It’s an instinct for some, and for others it’s a learned way of living. And yet for others it’s awkward or exhausting or intrusive. But here’s some real truth: […]
Praying Mercy Today
You say you desire mercy, not sacrifice. What does that mean? Cause I thought sacrifice was the way to live Christian, the way to give of myself for another. But your word is true. So I wrestle with it. To sacrifice is to offer. The act of giving up something that is mine for someone else. These burnt offerings are not meaningless. They are ceremonial in nature. And their aroma is pleasing to you. You tell me this. But I can sacrifice my money for the cause of another, yet, it’s not really giving of myself. And I can sacrifice […]
My Favorite Things This Spring {2014}
1. Pixi redness reducing primer from Target. I put it under my tinted moisturizer to help even my skin tone. The closer I get to 40, the more I need little favorite like this. My skin has changed a lot in tone and texture these past few years and I’m committed to taking care of it, even if it means spending a little more money on good cleansers and creams. I currently use Dr. Loretta skin care online and I’m super happy with the results. 2. These sweet potato chips are so yummy. Only 3 ingredients: sweet potatoes, sunflower oil […]
Do You Miss Me??
Wait…don’t answer…unless, of course, you do! I’m not going to assume you’ve noticed, but I haven’t posted in such a long time. I’ve missed the writing. It’s my way of quieting my mind and processing life in a way that documents moments and struggles and growth so I’ll always remember. Life has truly sprung forth with Spring, and I just haven’t been able to slow down long enough to scribble it down. Farm chores are in full swing! Six pigs arrived this month and we are super excited to offer pastured raised pork to more people this year. We’ve doubled […]
What needs resurrecting in your life?
How good of Easter to come right after winter. For those cold barren months burrow in us an awareness of death, a humility to that which we cannot control. Instead of the obvious of vibrant colors and the fullness of foliage and the singing of the animal world, when we surrender to a season of dying we must look harder to see life in forms less visible. Like the whispers of wind that foretell change. And the provision of a thick coat that miraculously appear on the deer that winter in our woods. Like the glistening of snow that makes […]
Praying For Some {global} Vision Today
It’s always so confusing to me when the anger of people is directed toward the behavior and choices of others. More than their own brokenness. More than the blaring ethical and social injustices. More than the existence of poverty stricken communities. More than the outrageous amount of children still not in families. More than the sexual battle that preys on young women. More than the widespread addiction to the virtual stimulations that prevent intimacy in reality. My own anger swells up in these moments when the people who wear your Name use it to build walls, instead of erase boundaries. […]
This Will Always Be My Favorite Lent Story
Lent looks different every year for our family. For one, it wasn’t even something we acknowledged growing up in our particular community of faith. But I really love the discipline of fasting and I especially appreciate when communities come together to fast collectively. This year, however, I’m not fasting from anything food related. I’m really not fasting from anything at all. Rather, I’ve made a commitment to prayerfully approach the Father on behalf of several people I know who need the support of prayer right now. I set these little alarms on my phone and all throughout the day I […]
It’s a Beautiful Thing {to raise up the young}
We have spent years mediating arguments between siblings – years! These children of ours are super close. Moving across the world together {where all you really have is each other}, along with years of homeschooling {spending all the hours of every day together} –knits you tight. But still, these brothers and sisters pick and poke, squabble and fight like all normal siblings. Sometimes it plays out like this: I hear yelling and angry words flying, along with evidence of physical contact….I give it a few minutes to see if they can work it out themselves….it escalates, and I get frustrated…I […]
You Can’t Eat Beauty
I’ve been teaching my children how to eat for nearly 14 years. You think maybe once you cover that at age 2 and 3 and 4, you might be done in that parenting department. But lessons on food and health and manners have followed us all the way into the teenage years. In part, because children always need reminders, but also because our family has transformed in our eating over the years. We’ve come to embrace the spiritual side of food that speaks to the way we are nourished and provided for, and not merely the physical fulfilling of our […]
A Really Good Place to Be {in parenting}
We had a conversation with our children last week and it all started with this: Child: Mom, what is the password for Netflix? Me: Why? Child: I want to start season 5 of White Collar while I run on the treadmill. Me: What? Season 5? Are you telling me you’ve seen seasons 1-4 already? Child {suddenly sheepish}: Uuuuh, yes? When I hear about kids making bombs in their garage I’m floored, even a bit judgmental, that the parent had NO idea such activity was happening in their midst. Well, suddenly I’m a little more gracious toward the unawareness. It’s no […]
Marriage: The Working out of My Salvation
They sat there in all their twenty something beauty, holding coffee and sharing stories. And I sat their held captive by their genuine hearts and dreams. I’ve heard it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, she said. The other one looked at me with her hopeful unmarried eyes, Is it? Is it the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Hmmm….I wanted so much to respond in a way that keeps it real, but shows the wonder. Marriage. It’s complicated to communicate the complexity of two becoming one. It’s unique to all other relationships. It’s covenant. It’s constant. It’s eternal, because even when […]
Yes Also Means No {a truth my husband speaks}
Here’s the thing about learning yes. You must also learn no. For saying yes to something inevitably means saying no to something else. Yes to a truth, no to a lie. Yes to God’s will, no to self-fulfilled dreams. Yes to intentional living, no to busyness and a rigid calendar. Yes to your children, no to selfish intentions. Yes to healthier eating, no to cheap groceries. In everything, there is a choice, a deciding between what you desire {or need}, and what you’re willing to do without in order to have the time, money, energy or attention to weave what […]
Praying Yes! Today
A prayer by Walter Brueggemann You are the God who is simple, direct, clear with us and for us. You have committed yourself to us.You have said yes to us in creation,yes to us in our birth,yes to us in our baptism,yes to us in our awakening this day. But we are of another kind,more accustomed to “perhaps, maybe, we’ll see,’left in wonderment and ambiguity. We live our lives not back to your yes,but out of our endless “perhaps.” So we pray for your mercy this day that we may live yes back to you,yes with our time,yes with our money,yes […]
Yes!
It’s been two years since the Lord sung her name to me. The story has yet to turn a page, but I couldn’t help revisit the moment as I entered into my sacred week of hunger, of looking backward and forward with clarity and vision. At the beginning of each year I commit to a week of fasting. No food. Rather, I feast on God’s sustaining grace and find myself fully satisfied in His presence, in the way He always meets me in my hunger, in my seeking. And yet, after ten years of this discipline, ten years of His […]
We are the Place Where You’re Born
The very first Christmas was Jesus being born unto the world. Every Christmas after, is Jesus being born in us. As we anticipate and wait in these Advent days, we are preparing for his birth – not only in a manger, but in hearts and homes. Jesus being born into our sin. Jesus being born into our brokenness. Jesus being born into our relationships. Jesus being born into the work of our hands, the words of our mouth. This is no ordinary birth. It’s not the kind that marks first breath. It’s the kind that brings forth new life. What […]
Her Pondering Heart
It says she pondered. The woman who first welcomed God in the flesh, the one who birthed a baby that would save a dying world. This baby, her baby, vulnerable and naked, looked nothing like a savior. And while everyone who heard about the miracle was amazed, this new mama, “treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” God was born through her that night in a place not worthy of the moment, with an audience so humble it causes bewilderment. The reality of God with Us conceived questions and concerns, comfort and hope – in everyone, […]
They Teach Us How to Welcome
Do you feel him moving? Stirring inside of you? Stretching, pushing against you? His life growing larger and stronger, more complete…ready to be born? These are the days we are expecting. Waiting for Jesus who has come, is here, and will come again. This ever present, ever coming God is continually conceiving life in his people, expanding them, and delivering redemption in this world. How do we welcome the birth of Jesus? How do we receive a Savior being born into our life? Let’s look to the days and years surrounding the nativity story for discernment – the people, places […]
For All Your Repeating Words
Sometimes I feel like a broken record, scratching out the same few words of the same old tune over and over again….and the longer I sing those words, the less kind they sound. Please remember to rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Don’t forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher, okay? Hello? Dishes? They go in the dishwasher….remember? Dishes! (stomp) Dishwasher! (stomp) Now!!! (stomp) There are times I question whether I can go another day on repeat. Picking up the same belongings left out by the same people. Cleaning and wiping the very same things over […]
Beautifully Flawed {conversations}
Have you not known?Have you not heard?The everlasting God, the Lord,The Creator of the ends of the earth,Neither faints nor is weary.His understanding is unsearchable.He gives power to the weak,And to those who have no might He increases strength.Even the youths shall faint and be weary,And the young men shall utterly fall,But those who wait on the LordShall renew their strength;They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary,They shall walk and not faint. We’re two conversations into This is How We Welcome, and I am renewed in hope and blessed by the words and prayers of my children. Some wisdom […]
What to Expect {when you’re expecting}
Disappointment. Sure, not every time. But if you’re expecting anything from anyone, you are at great risk for dissatisfaction. I mean, when does anything happen just like we hope? When do we get exactly what we’re wanting? For the past week, I’ve been seeking the Lord in how to expect, how to hope for, how to wait. For I recently lost what I was expecting, and I sigh and laugh a little as I realize the timing of my pain. For today begins a period of waiting, a season set a part to anticipate the arrival of a baby. It […]
Glimpse #3 {This is How We Welcome}
God wants his people to trust him. Not just for today, but for tomorrow. And not just with our hunger, but with all of our needs. If we are storing up treasures in our home and bank or storing up fear in our minds or storing up bitterness in our hearts, we are not trusting our Creator with the most basic needs of our life. There are times to save and make preparations, and these will be most fruitful when they are in response to God’s leading. But if we spend so much time, energy and money storing up and […]
Glimpse #2 {This is How We Welcome}
Advent begins December 1st — the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Here’s another glimpse into these conversations intended to guide you through a season of active waiting and preparing for the coming of Christmas. When did we start expecting instead of receiving, and buying instead of giving? With the first bit of sin. That’s the moment. That’s when we started wanting what we want, instead of what someone else wanted for us. Our will verses God’s. Our desires instead of His. We chose sin out of the hunger of our flesh, rather than the good and perfect gifts from above, coming down […]
These Holy Pigs
It seemed right to send them out just as I brought them in. Through song. A simple homemade song by my Great Aunt May and a hymn of gratitude that welcomed the Creator to the moment. Great is Thy faithfulness. Great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me. The morning stung with chill and an act of death we’ve been anticipating since June. We welcomed the baby pigs, we held them when they were tiny, we winced at their outrageous squeals. We […]
What does it look like for God’s life to be born in us?
“The very first Christmas was Jesus being born unto the world. Every Christmas after, is Jesus being born in us. As we anticipate and wait in these Advent days, we are preparing for his birth — not only in a manger, but in hearts and homes. Jesus, being born into our sin. Jesus being born into our brokenness. Jesus being born into our relationships. Jesus being born into the work of our hands, the words of our mouth. This is no ordinary birth. It’s not the kind that marks first breath. It’s the kind that brings for new life. What […]
Advent Conversations: This is How We Welcome
[bl]L[/bl]ast year, the Lord inspired some Advent thoughts that became 11 conversations intended to help us engage a season of active waiting and preparing for the coming of Jesus. I’ve spent some time editing and reorganizing the conversations, and I’m excited to share it with you all. If you’re looking to engage the Advent season, I really think you’ll be blessed by these conversations. Here’s a glimpse into the thoughts: There are 11 conversations, which means about 3 per week leading up to Christmas. These Advent conversations can happen between two people, a family, a small group or simply between you and […]
It All Starts with Seeing
We’ve surprised ourselves at how morning worship has become part of our daily rhythm. We are sloooow to commit to scheduled expectations. But this is different. Because worship isn’t a task to check off. It’s the deep longing of our hearts. And when we carve out space for it, it will leave us wanting more. And it has. As we open our minds and hearts to be more like Jesus, we start today memorizing and embracing the truth in Philippians 2. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look […]
How to Harvest Love {2013}
To harvest is to gather. To recognize what is ripe and to collect and enjoy the fruits of a season. And then we feast. We let the sweet and savory crops satisfy us. And we give thanks for what’s been given. Oh that we would be a people who do this with love! That we would recognize this fruit of the Spirit that has grown and ripened in the season we’re living right now. That we would collect our experiences and memories of the love given and received. Of the seeds planted with grace, and the witness of love growing and maturing in […]
Happy Twenty Something Me
Dear young mamas, I can’t help but notice the tired in your eyes. And the way you have to be alert. Always. Watching where they go, what they pick up. And how you sometimes take a deep breath through your genuine, but half-hearted smile as you say Good in response to the usually rhetorical question How are you? And I can’t help but wonder if you wish, instead, to admit fatigue and a little loneliness. Or maybe that you’re disappointed your body doesn’t look the way it used to…and you wish you didn’t care as much as you do. Or […]
Inspiring Children to Learn
It’s no easy task. We have a lot working against us in our time and culture. Learning is usually slow, but we move fast. Learning is relational, but we spend less time together. Learning is full of creativities, but but we focus on activities. And then there’s the distraction and dominance of screens. I try not to hold harsh opinions about things, but man, if you push me against a wall, I’ll claim that video games harden hearts and deplete minds of creativity. When you can control and experience a fantasy world free of pain and consequence, of course the […]
Green Smoothie Recipe {and food ramblings}
I grew up eating home cooked meals and enjoying the way dinners and holidays gathered us around a table. Our family always loved eating together, making new recipes and putting in a little extra effort to make a meal special. It’s kind of one of our traditions. Certain recipes belong to certain people. Like my sister carries on the tradition of our Grandma’s yeast rolls. And I’m always the one who makes the sausage cornbread stuffing at Thanksgiving. My mom’s roast is always tastier than the rest of ours. And my dad’s gravy is the best! And my brother’s chocolate […]
Hold on?
Usually I ask my children to do me a favor and without hesitation they step up to the task. That’s always nice. But sometimes…well, maybe more than sometimes….they sigh or roll their eyes or say hold on. In those moments, I’m not exactly sure what to say or how to respond. I’m never really prepared for those reactions. But I’m thinking maybe I should make a plan for the next time it happens because if I don’t come up with anything more graceful, I might explode in sarcasm with something like this: Hold on? You want ME to hold on? […]
On the Fifth Morning
The morning started out terrible. I made a different spinach smoothie than I normally make…which didn’t go over very well with the children. So there was complaining and pouting and slow sipping….which didn’t go over very well with me. As I scrambled eggs, the children scrambled to take specks out of each other’s eyes, completely blind to the plank they had each brought with them to the breakfast table. The bickering escalated, and the louder they got, the louder I got. Before I share what happened next…don’t worry, all five children are still alive and well…I want to first say […]
15 Years of Togetherness
We married on the day before my parent’s 30th anniversary and I can’t believe we’re already half way to that milestone. We celebrated this victory, our relationship that has grown in love and overcome many great things, with a trip to the ocean. It had been four years since our last family vacation, the one where we drove from Jinja, Uganda to Nairobi, Kenya then flew to the coast where we breathed in the ocean air, basked in the sun, held an octopus, and were cared for with African hospitality. Yep, we road tripped through Africa, crossing boarders, traveling through […]
Our Theme for the School Year
I could get specific about how we desire an environment of creation over education, how we seek inward transformation before learning outcomes, and how we appreciate assessment through participation rather than examination. Or I could confess how I would be a TERRIBLE school mom who would always drop my children off late, never sign permission slips, and rarely check or enforce homework assignments. But the bottom line is, we homeschool because we love the time it gives us with our children. SO much time….sometimes too much time…like this might be the end of me time….but mostly irreplaceable, precious time in […]
A Backyard Distance Away
They walked into my room with we’re about to ask you something looks on their faces. Their super big grins and uncertain eyes gave them away. We know you’re gonna say no, but we want to ask anyway, they said. Hmmm. I’ve been my parents daughter for 38 years and my husband’s wife for 15….and I still do things to keep them guessing and wondering as to what I might do, how I might respond. But these kids of mine? They act like they have me figured out already! As if the growing inside me, and the countless hours we […]
The Green Moment {that has me all thinking}
I’ve been making these green smoothies nearly every morning for a few months now. I seriously think they’re changing our lives. Sounds dramatic, I know. But for real – they’re beautiful, delicious and we all seem to notice physical benefits. When I watch my children guzzle the cup full of spinach I feel like a stellar mom. I mean, forget about those frozen cokes I let them have yesterday. And the chocolate chip cookies I threw in the oven when our friends came over. And those Cheetos I bought to go with sandwiches the other day? Let’s forget that ever […]
A Beautiful Hard Place to Be {what we’ll tell our black son}
You were created exactly how God wanted you. You’re wonderfully made. And we love the color you bring to our life. But sometimes the color of your skin will reveal the brokenness in other people. It will expose fear. The resistance to embrace God’s diversity. The failure to love wholly. The choosing to not understand another. The careless bias toward projected beauty, power and influence. We’re so sorry for this. We’re sorry that the beautiful hue you bring to this world carries the weight of a heart wrenching history that can only be redeemed through the crimson color of Jesus. […]
Everything is Permissible
….but not everything is beneficial. I experienced a convergence of situations and truths this week. And the more I meditate on it, the more I realize just how central this teaching is to how we shape and guide our children according to the purposes of God. I was talking deep with a friend about the thorn in his flesh and how it has him wrestling with heart issues, and feeling judged by those who claim the name of Jesus. The question he asked was do you think it’s wrong? It’s a familiar question to most of us. We can’t help […]
praying for my {big} boys today
‘Cause really, who else will? With the same fervency and compassion. With the same steadfast heart and committed spirit. Who else but their mama will pray for them with the depth of understanding of who they are and who they want to be? Their daddy’s prayers are full of spirit. They are heart felt and listened to. They are needed and special in a world where daddy’s tend to leave. But my heart spends hours upon hours with their hearts every day. I tend to those boys, and they purify me. I feed and nourish them, and they swell my […]
Establish the Work of their Hands
It has taken a lot of effort to get this bunch to work with their hands. Many arguments. Countless conversations. Continual reminders. Inconsistent rewards. Maybe a little bribing. And far too many frustrating parenting moments. They just don’t like to work. They’re easily distracted. They’d rather pick up electronics. Their dad envisions with his creative mind a different way of living, a redeemed way of using land, a slower pace to life. And then he works hard to see those dreams fulfilled for his family. A part of that dream is working alongside his sons and daughters. Their hands and […]
Praying Restoration Today
These dark skies have swooped down, twisted realities, shaken foundations, and flooded us with fear. They have blown in and taken the breath of children, with no regard toward how our young in school have already been attacked. And then, they came back for more, and to the One Who Calms the Seas and Storms, we cry out Enough! People are talking, you know? Asking questions. Wondering if it was by your hand, oh Creator of the winds and skies and rains. I know it’s okay to ask, to wonder. I’m asking too. Your Word compels me to wrestle with […]
#whatthecameradoesntshow
There is so much more to a moment than whatever it is we’re framing in a lens when trying to capture it. There are emotions undetected by the camera. There are piles of laundry just around the corner. There is the argument that happened moments earlier between the two siblings now being darling for the camera. There are feelings of inadequacy, even when we share a creative something we copied from Pinterest. There is the long tiring day that doesn’t get erased when we show the yummy dinner we whipped up for our family. And yet….our online identities are being […]
Don’t Be Afraid of Emptiness
I’ve done motherhood both ways. This body swelling all on its own and me going along for the ride. Never having to tell it what to do. Never having to tell my heart how to love because it gently grew in beat with the living soul inside me. And then there are the times when the stretching and pulling happened to my spirit, not my belly. I expanded in ways I didn’t know was possible. And as these two babies grew inside other women’s bodies, the joy of the Lord grew inside me. The natural and unnatural expanding of heart and life […]
Environments of Grace: what do they look like {for the daughter who loses her mother}?
I know Jennifer because she married into a family whom I share a deep history, a deep love. Though miles separate us now, the foundation of friendship between our families keeps us bound together, and we delight in knowing that God is working in each other’s lives. Jennifer’s grace story comes just in time for Mother’s Day, a day we celebrate the love and beauty of this divine role. Being a mother and having a mother isn’t something everyone gets to experience or celebrate. But this story teaches us that God’s grace redeem’s broken realities, sometimes in ways we aren’t […]