Day 3: Real Food
Day three. The breath is almost unbearable! The odors are strong. The body begins to flush itself. And like the day when I was buried in water at eleven years old, I step into the shower and let the water wash away that which is toxic to my body.
Clean and forgiven. Thank you, Jesus.
My hungry mind keeps thinking of Bravo’s cheesecake. I haven’t eaten in three days and that’s what I want? Why do I seek false satisfaction? What I consume matters. Why don’t I live by that truth?
In a culture of consumerism we have anything and everything to fill us. But we’re empty.
I faithfully feed my flesh every single day. But there are days I go without prayer. Without opening the Word of God. And I wonder why I’m tired. Depleted. Never fully satisfied.
“I am the Bread of Life. My flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Come remain in me.”
Yes! I believe it…or do I? When will I eat Christ as if he’s the only one that can really give me life?
The manna sent to the Israelites was a provision from God. A response to their grumbling. A way that God built trust. He wanted them to learn that he will always provide for them. No need to store up. He will give again tomorrow. Manna, sweet like honey, like dew upon the ground. But those who ate it still died.
The food that feeds our flesh will not sustain us.
My habitual morning iced latte. Homemade biscuits with butter and jam. Mark’s soups shared with warm bread. Sweet provisions from my Father that feed my flesh. And then there’s a whole list I dare not call manna. Shopping, indulgence, fashion, media. Ways I feed my flesh that I’m shameful of.
Most days, my flesh indulges and my spirit starves. And this is what I love most about fasting. During these sweet days, my flesh does without while my spirit is fed. And sometimes it’s the only way. Sometimes we need to be led to a desert. Sometimes we need to taste the bitter so it can be made sweet by our Creator. Sometimes we need to be given just enough for today so we trust in the provisions of tomorrow. If our wells are full and our pantries stocked, will our spirits hunger and thirst for the Bread from Heaven that truly satisfies?
“And he who feeds on this bread will live forever.”
It’s Luke I pray for today. My oldest, my bravest. The one willing to try anything. The one who will leave me one day for a life of adventure and purpose. My first little love. He looks just like his daddy. So handsome! But I fear he’s more like me. Stubborn and confident. Wanting desperately to be good at everything.
His spirit is strong. Maybe too strong. So I pray that God humbles him. That God reminds him he can’t do and be everything. That he shows him that weakness is okay.
Because in our weakness God is made strong.
I stop and remind myself of this truth.
And I pray God establishes the work of Luke’s hands, because he’s always ready to use them. May they not be self-serving. But generous and gentle. May they hold life with humility. This is my prayer.
