Environments of Grace: what do they look like {for the daughter who loses her mother}?

I know Jennifer because she married into a family whom I share a deep history, a deep love. Though miles separate us now, the foundation of friendship between our families keeps us bound together, and we delight in knowing that God is working in each other’s lives. Jennifer’s grace story comes just in time for Mother’s Day, a day we celebrate the love and beauty of this divine role. Being a mother and having a mother isn’t something everyone gets to experience or celebrate. But this story teaches us that God’s grace redeem’s broken realities, sometimes in ways we aren’t expecting.

It’s natural to look for grace and redemption in the big things. A cure to an illness, a relationship restored when all hope is lost, a down to the wire prayer answered, or some kind of grand miracle. We seem to search for something that loudly proclaims God is here and in control. Sometimes these outcomes are not always possible in our broken world. Does that mean God is not here? Or could it be that grace is somewhere we haven’t looked yet? I have learned it’s actually sweeter when God’s love redeems something that just my eyes see, and just my heart feel. It doesn’t have to be a grand miracle to make it real, and it doesn’t make grace any less powerful.

Not to rattle off a cliché, but I truly have the best mother-in-law. Let me tell you a little about her. Carroll (Palmer) Duvall was raised in a missionary family. She was the second daughter of eight children. They lived overseas – Germany and Africa – and many places here in the U.S. Carroll learned to give and receive love to all kinds of people through all kinds of situations. Her family modeled the giving and receiving of hospitality. She was raised with the belief that community was essential, whether you were blood family or not. They hosted countless people in their home, wherever home happened to be, and however it looked. Carroll had been the recipient of such love and care also. She was hosted by other families here in the U. S. while in high school and college when her parents were overseas.

After Ron and Carroll married, they learned they would not be able to have biological children. Well, it’s no surprise they decided to adopt two children. Carroll’s family had already been “adopting” people throughout their entire lives. Because of their decision to adopt, my life found love — not just in a husband — but in my mother-in law as well.

Years later, after walking past my mother’s casket at her funeral, Carroll cried the hardest and hugged me the tightest. I remember thinking that my mother would be happy Carroll was in my life, although I couldn’t really understand all that it would mean at the time. Now, I do. She has adopted me, too.

This mother in law of mine is full of life. She gives of her time and talents. Just last week we made a new cover for a dog bed with material we purchased together a few weeks prior. She is always ready to make a meal, and is even happier to meet you at a restaurant. Our blessing runs the full gamut, from babysitting our children, being a friend, shopping, and lending a listening ear.

All the things a mother and daughter would do together, I experience because of her. I truly am one of her own. I still get to enjoy a mother’s love.

How could I have imagined this would be the shape grace took in my life? I knew God gave me the husband I needed, but he also gave me the mother in law I needed. I didn’t ask for it. God just gave. Oh, how he truly loves me so!

He loves you just as much. Grace is somewhere for you also.

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Jennifer, we thank you for your story. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

We celebrate the way God gave you a mother after losing the one who gave you birth. He is faithful redeem.