Day four. The hunger is leaving me. From this point on the not eating gets easier. The body is adjusting to the lack of intake and it starts being okay with it. But oh the cravings! You see it’s not your stomach that craves, it’s your mind. And definitely your eyes.
As you deny your flesh fulfillment, your spiritual being becomes more alive.
This is the hardest part. Confronting our spiritual beings is scary – all the emotional, relational, mental experiences that we’re not sure how to deal with. Often, we numb the spirit by feeding the flesh. So when this response is removed, the mind and heart sharpen, becoming more self-aware. Ugly parts are recognized. Weakness is more obvious. Emptiness is felt. Because I am more alive!
But the flesh is powerful. It senses the stress. And years of emotional eating have reinforced cravings and they are in full revolt demanding, “You NEED chocolate chip cookies!”
No, I don’t.
For everything in the world — the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes — comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16)
What I need is Jesus. His love and his grace to consume all that is within me. That I may become a dwelling where his spirit lives and flourishes. This is the only way to lasting fulfillment. This is the only way to truly live.
This is the only way to really love.
Today I pray for Connor. The child who loves.
The one divinely connected to my spirit. His heart feels deep, so his emotions are wild. He desperately wants to be good, but his awareness of his sin is acute for his age. He fears darkness. Not the kind you see, the kind you feel.
“The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
At the young age of 7, Connor witnessed deliverance by God. I held this sweet boy as he wept in shame and felt God’s forgiveness wash over him.
Forgiveness is the very heart of God.
“My heart feels happy,” he says. Because his heart is connected to God’s heart.
Connor struggles with insecurity. And wants so badly to be like his big brother — the one who is like his daddy. He anxiously waits to be affirmed by his brother. But my prayer is that Connor learns to receive affirmation from God. I pray God shows him his unique strengths and gifts. That he instills a confidence in Connor – in who he is, and who God is calling him to be. I believe this boy’s love will reach to far places, loving those dear to God’s heart.
May Connor know the perfect love of God so the love he has for others is made complete.